Category Archives: Humor

Roum Catholic? – The First 2013 Elections Ad

The ministry of internal affairs has started its preparatory campaign for the 2013 elections by telling people to check their name on the voters lists before March 10th, which I told you to do a few days ago (link).

As part of its attempt at getting the Lebanese voter to feel more involved, especially that it pertains to bureaucratic stuff most people don’t want to feel concerned with, they have launched the following funny ad, which plays on the different types of Lebanese people who might be “violated” by errors on the lists:

The last 2 seconds of the ad are beyond hilarious, which is probably what might get some people to go to this website (link) and check if their name is correctly listed.

And if you thought the Roum Catholic part is far-fetched, just check out this screenshot (link) from the lists of my hometown.

PS: They are brothers.

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Mario Bassil’s Gangnam Style

Lebanese comedian Mario Bassil is a participant on LBC’s Celebrity Duets, a show that serves as a fundraiser for a celebrity’s charity of choice while they “sing” for votes.

Mario Bassil is still in the competition and his performance yesterday was his own version of Gangnam Style which he called “Yalla Mario Style.”

I think it’s hilarious.

Klink Revolution: Myriam Klink’s New Song

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She calls herself QMK which I guess translates to Queen Myriam Klink so I may be doing her a disservice by omitting the first word.. This is Myriam Klink’s new “song” about the current state of things in Lebanon. You know, el en2isam, el ta2ifiye w heik.

Unless Nemr Abou Nassar is so bored he wants to expand his fanbase again, I’m willing to bet no one will be having a field day with this.

Interestingly, it was “debuted” on Joe Maalouf’s radio show. It seems he doesn’t mind this type of “music” being played on his airwaves if it brings in audiences.

I thought she was just messing around with Antar. But this shows that she’s actually taking herself seriously. Lord have mercy.

Proceed with caution. The path ahead is extremely risky for your eardrums and there’s no accompanying dance video to please your eyes.

 

Lebanese Newlywed’s First Dance… To Gangnam Style

This is awesome and they actually did the dance well! Congrats to the newlywed and thank you for the wedding reception entertainment. I’m sure your guests were more than pleased.

Now if all weddings could be this creative, perhaps I’d like to attend them more often. W 3a2bel l 3eyzin :P

If Felix Baumgartner Was Lebanese

To break off from the morbid/depressing/overly serious posts my blog has had over the past few days, I figured I’d post a series of tweets that were collected by Lebanese newspaper Al-Safir. The tweets are jokes about scenarios where Felix Baumgartner, the man who jumped 39 km yesterday, is Lebanese.

They range from him taking tires to space to his mother giving him 100 cartons of food. You should read them in a Lebanese accent and I won’t bother translating them because the joke would be lost in the translation (for the full article, click here):

Beware! Tomatoes are Forbidden for Being a “Christian” Fruit… So Says an Egyptian Islamist Association

Crazy people with a platform. Hello bad side of the internet.

One of my Facebook friends shared this picture on my timeline with a sarcastic comment to show their corresponding disdain of its content. And I’m sharing it here for two purposes:

1) Comedy is needed these days.

2) Sometimes calling groups on their stupidity is needed.

The Egyptian Islamic Popular Association (or my translation of Alrabita Alsha3bia Almasriya el Islamia) has decided to call on people to stop eating tomatoes because it’s a Christian fruit which holds the Cross in it. Wait, there’s even a picture!

Praise Jesus! He is risen in a berry!

The translation goes as follows: “Eating tomatoes is forbidden because it’s Christian, praises the Cross and calls on you to worship three gods and not one. We beseech you to share it because a sister in Palestine saw the Prophet in a vision crying and warning his nation of eating tomatoes. If you don’t share it, know that the devil has forbidden you.”

The devil. We don’t want to upset that now, do we?

Their Facebook page, which you can access here, supports Mohammad Morsi for the Egyptian elections. They’re also happy that Shakira has converted to Islam and they have the picture to prove it. You don’t believe me? Here’s a screenshot of that:

That’s not Shakira… or is it?

Meanwhile, the tomato post has a caption which calls Christians a blasphemous bunch (Kuffar), about 2700 shares and 1200 comments. The good thing is? Many of those comments are calling it as it is: retardation.

As for me, I’m classing this under humor.

Lord Gaga X Does It Again

Provide a hilarious show without intending to, that is.

To those who watched the show, did he advance to the next stage?

If they let him through, then it’s beyond any doubt a gimmick to bring in viewers. How many tuned in to Arabs Got Talent only to see what he had up his sleeve?

Now imagine him winning and becoming the symbol of what talent the Arabs have. That would be quite awesome.

If I were in his shoes and after the week his country (Syria) had, I would have shown a little more consideration.

 

Burning Tires in Lebanon? Here’s How You Can Make a Living

Source via Twitter user PiaaaM.

While they burn tires, you feed them. Copious amounts of starch and other carbohydrates are sure to keep their energy levels high. Then they’ll burn more tires and you feed them more.

After an hour of riot to protest something they were told they needed to protest, you would have made enough money for a month’s living. Sounds like a plan? You bet.

10 Things Lebanese Do When Chaos Strikes in Lebanon

This is a cycle that we go through every time something happens in Lebanon that is out of the ordinary. These unLebanese things happen at a rate of once or twice per year and we tend to forget them a week after they’re over.

Without further ado, this is what Lebanese do whenever chaos erupts in our beloved country:

1 – Vow not to vote for either March 8 or March 14 ever again. Both of them are ruining the country.

2 – Start posting Facebook statuses about how horrible Lebanon is.

3 – Depending on political stance, observations about the situation will be made. And everyone is correct. Don’t try to tell them otherwise.

4 – Change Facebook profile pictures to express sympathy and change things because pictures are sure catalysts for change.

5 – Lebanese memes about the situation will surface. The most recent one? “Wa2ta tkoun Trablos wel3ane, enta mamnou3 tentefe” – Buzz ripoff anyone?

6 – Levels of empathy will surge. Chaos struck in region X? We’re all region X. Of course, odds are few knew what region X was a day earlier.

7 – Call up schools and universities with fingers crossed to ask if there are classes the following day, while sounding distressed for credibility’s sake.

8 – Some will panic about anything. Blame their “PTSD” from previous events. Others will pretend to be fierce… because they roll like that.

9 – Start making jokes about the situation because it’s very appropriate.

10 – Between the aforementioned 9 points, proceed with life as if nothing’s happening because odds are you being affected are next to nul – despite your mother telling you to stay home.