As she ran her fingers through her hair on that cold December night and was sad to see that the chemicals had started to sink in, she knew it wouldn’t be long before she would have to make a decision she never thought she’d have to make.
To let the hair go on its own? Or to take it all off?
We told her what the right decision should be. But it’s always easier to preach when you’re not the one cringing as you look at yourself in the mirror.
She decided that she wanted to cling to it more. It kept her warm, she said. She felt safer with it, she said.
So the hair kept falling. And she kept trying to hide it.
I remember the day well. I got back home from class to see her wearing a wig. I smiled. I knew she had taken the plunge. I was proud of her. I was strengthened by her courage. I was happy by her resilience.
As she took the razor to what was left of the hair on her head, she also took the decision to strengthen her fighting of those few cells that threatened to take her life away. Today, as I see her smile, I smile as well. And I see her radiating despite something being missing.
We keep her feeling good about it. But I realized we don’t need to. We joke about how my brothers and I are sure to lose our hair now that both our parents are bald. She’d smile and give us the “I’m not impressed” face. For the first time since she started chemotherapy, I can see her really happy. I can see her relieved.
My mother was beautiful before. My mother is gorgeous today. And I want to show you how brave she is. Because hair doesn’t matter.
A Separate State of Mind | A Blog by Elie Fares 
Reblogged this on Ned Hamson Second Line View of the News and commented:
And a beauty in soul and courage…
LikeLike
She is very beautiful – truly angelic. My prayers for her speedy recovery.
LikeLike
She is beautiful and she looks like a real fighter… God bless your mom, I hope she recovers soon and that she always keeps that beautiful smile on…
LikeLike
Keep smiling
Our prayers & chemoRx will take care of it
LikeLike
She is Super!! A fighter!!! what is also great is that you are surrounding her! my prayers for her recovery!
LikeLike
WOW, she is a beautiful woman!!!!!! Very few women can look as wonderful without their hair!! Allah ykhalilak yeha, you can see the courage in her eyes. She’s in my thoughts & prayers for a healthy and happy recovery.
LikeLike
Beautiful
LikeLike
She is really beautiful Elie. My prayers for a speedy recovery
LikeLike
She looks gorgeous. Wish her full and rapid recovery
LikeLike
She looks angilic! Her smile is wonderful, her eyes shining with strength, will, love and light. May she recover soon.
LikeLike
What a beautiful woman! I hope I can be half as gorgeous as she is if, God forbid, I have to go through what she is.
LikeLike
She looks good as she ought to do: Cancer ya Elie is a word not a “sentence” :). If there’s anything I can do please don’t spare me. I know sometimes physicians ( oncologists even more) in Lebanon can be short on explanations if any.
LikeLike
she is brave to go publicly with a shaved head in a culture that sees women with short hair of lesser value.
you are courageous for sharing something this personal with your readers….
I wish her long years to come where you guys can enjoy each others’ company
LikeLike
Courage
LikeLike
Beautiful post Elie.
LikeLike
Nothing but respect to this woman! May God protects her for you Elie … Wish you all the strength in the world right now
LikeLike