Beirut’s Skybar Burns Down; Lebanon To Announce A Day Of Mourning

*Clears throat.*

I know I’ve never, ever, written about a Beirut club before. For starters, I’ve never been to any of them and to a lesser extent, I’m not a party person. So I guess it seems fitting that someone as morbid as me would write about a Beirut club – the most infamous of them might I add – when something distressing takes place.

People of the Republic of Lebanon, I am terribly sorry to announce that something extremely horrifying has taken place overnight. Our Beiruti pride and joy, the main manifestation of culture in Beirut for the summer, has received a terrible fiery blow: Skybar is no more. At least for the upcoming season.

The opening was set for next week, but a fire ravaged through more than 60% of Skybar last night, overtaking its VIP area, the kitchen, the dance area, among others. Reports say that repairs need about 5 to 6 months.

It is safe to say Beirut will have, for the first time in years, a Skybar-less summer.

The following are pictures from the scene:

Clearly, this is a conspiracy by The Garten to make sure that they remain the only “it” place for this summer. The other option is obviously an attempt by ISIS at trashing our national heritage and monuments. Palmyra? Assyrians? Nope.

Now that SkyBar has burned down, however, there are pressing issues to be raised and extremely important questions to be asked.

1) Will the country go into mourning tomorrow, will our flags be lowered as they should for such a national tragedy?

2) What will become of our touristy summer season that is entirely dependent on these clubs functioning at maximum capacity?

3) How will we tell EVERYONE now that we are the party capital of the Middle East world when we’ve lost our most prestigious club?

4) How will we show that we are open and hip and cool and liberal, life and alcohol-loving people who do not live in tents and don’t ride camels?

5) What will happen to all the selfies and the SkyBar-inspired hashtags that all the youngsters who could afford it had planned? RIP #SkyBaringWithFriends.

6) What will happen to all those future Facebook statuses of people who were outraged they were turned away by the bouncer for not being either 1) cool enough, 2) rich enough or 3) connected enough?

7) What will happen to all the unopened “Moet” bottles?

8) What will happen to all the virginities and hymens whose loss was contingent upon SkyBar opening this summer?

9) Will we ever be able to use the world “wel3ane” while partying at Skybar again?

10) What will happen to our future Beirut Snapchat story?

I’m glad no one got injured. Skybar have made enough money in previous years to bounce back from this unscathed.

In the meantime, I’ll leave you to ponder on those existential Lebanese questions in the aftermath of this horrifying national travesty.

 

 

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48 thoughts on “Beirut’s Skybar Burns Down; Lebanon To Announce A Day Of Mourning”

  4. Sorry Nabih, but did you think before writing this?

    this is definitely a tragedy for the business owners and those who make a living working there but a part of me is glad that shitty, expensive and meaningless commercial clubbing has just been knocked the fu!ck out.

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  5. through all this article… i failed to give a shit… did i miss something??? as far as it could be, a rich owner bado yghayyer decor w ma 7abeb ytek masare, nek rabbo lal club lal insurance yghatte… in all corners of Shitbar burning, its no tragedy nor a loss….not even news worth talkin about…

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  7. Pingback: A Few Thoughts on the SKYBAR Incident

  12. bro, asde ya arbab …. ur being commercial urself, first by writing such silly article(u shld be only delivering the news to public and its about being objective),second by mentioning these stupid questions?Uberhaus conspiracy, instagram hashtags, fb statuses….
    … batal lebnen b to2tif lfejel wl bazela …wl batenjen lmda3bal… tekram.

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    • i knowwww right? for fuck’s sake everybody takes everything so personally and feels concerned… whatever people, rou2o 3a 7alkon w 7ajj ta3to ba2a ahammiyyeh hall2ad la 7alkon ba2a, kellon kam kelmeh!

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  15. This is a very sad day for Lebanon!
    I guess the fumes of the skybar that are mixed with alcohol and chemicals were breathed by some of the “already low IQ’ed” commentators and made them lose their ability to grasp the concept of sarcasm!

    No but seriously, I knew we were surrounded by nitwits, but I didn’t know it was THAT SERIOUS!

    #7aram

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  16. Having been used to higher standards of writing from you, I was disappointed by your bitter failed attempt at humor and sarcasm. I have not been to skybar and dont live in Lebanon, but laughing at other people’s misery is shameful. A lot of familie’s livelyhood depend on this place. Yes, maybe the owners of Skybar made a lot of money, but how about the hundreds of lebanese youngsters that work there? And god forbid Lebanon is known for anything else but boms and ethnic tensions.

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  18. Pingback: Lebanese Bloggers Burn Down Skybar To Have Something Exciting To Write About | stupid toast

  20. Hay2to Picon, Klennex wou Porhub def3inlo la LELLO taykhalle el 3alam bil bet. LELLO ou3a TBELLO ! Rekkk mazbuuut mia khalifa, la enno aslan ma bi fawtouk 3alla walla club.

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  22. I don’t see why this is something to celebrate or mourn? Your opinion is extremely unnecessary, I stopped reading halfway. Waste of an article just report what happened and find something worth commenting on.

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  23. That is so sad…. I’m canceling my ticket to Lebanon. This is a huge blow to my future. I was so going to meet my future wife there. Kel el baneit mhazzabin hang out there I heard. The cream of society. All the hardworking, down-to-earth, self-made, and not-shallow-at-all lebanese congregate there. What a shame. My future is ruined….

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  25. It is a great loss of a successful business if business was measured on turn out and generating revenue. In our messed up economic and security apparatus in Lebanon when this happens to anyone it bothers me.
    But are we this dumb that we fail to understand Sarcasm and the overall picture and that Sky bar is not the culprit here ? To these idiots that said “blow it up your axx” meaning “nfokho” ( I’m betting language is not their stronghold and neither is thinking ) you missed the point. I am sure you simple minded nitwits also miss the point of living in frustrating lebanon still relying on generators for electricity, you enjoy the most mundane city planning leading to preposterous traffic jams, you think clubbing should have its own minister since its more important then health and agriculture and commerce. I know clubs well and have been to enough of them to tell you the experience of going to one can be very subjective: to the immature testosterone driven twenty year old bafoons it means point 8 if you were reading, to some it’s a change from going to a restaurant but a louder busier version where humans metamorphosize into Zombies as a chemical reaction to 3 dudus or 2 absents, to some it starts as a phase similar to when you’re trotting Panino street showing off your new car (let’s see who knows that one) staying in full circle for hours, but then it becomes in essential more like inherent organic lifestyle limb, such as going to the gym eating healthy food or drinking lots of water. Regardless, Lebanon is a Republic of show offs and has been as long as I can remember a nation of easy way outs, quick bucks and get rich schemes… Today it’s worse… Let’s not even get into politics, morals and how liberalism is thought to be related to alcoholism sexual addiction and Dancing with the Stars…
    In conclusion, let’s spend more time planning the future and less time clubbing and trust me the likes of Sky bar will still do great but maybe a few more business will flourish and some of our youth could grow to be leaders of this country…
    very patriotic hunh…? Unintentional really… after reading the reaponses to this article I almost feel we’re all doomed maybe I’ll go watch mad max…

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  26. never seen so many comments on any blog post from this or other similar blogs.
    i guess this reflects the priorities of our society…

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  27. shame… i heard Skbr was planning an event where A. Clooney and H. TAWAGI would hold hands and read (well TAWAGI would sing) lines from The Prophet while hummus on toasted pitta and tabboule stuffed cherry tomatoes were served as finger food… darrrrrnnnnn

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  28. You can criticize post-war Lebanese culture, which is based on, well SkyBar… and how Lebanese are forgetting their true heritage, norms, and traditions, which makes them .. Lebanese. But this criticism can be constructive, yours is based on an fully sarcastic article which made me sick! And I, too, don’t like these kind of clubs, and what we’ve come to as Lebanese. But this shows ignorance, and an attempt to criticize how people live, because they choose to be happy in a way that you think is sad. So buckle up, and write some constructive criticism with actual facts and arguments, don’t be like a jealous person who sits around with his/her friends and start targeting everyone they see :/

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  31. I don’t usually read this blog and don’t know if it is meant to be funny or sarcastic.
    But come on people!!! Even my 12 year-old niece could guess (and she actually did) that the article was written on a sarcastic tone!
    I’m not talking about all the idiots that write insults or offensive words because they only have 3 words in their vocabulary. God wasn’t as generous with them as he was with others and they are too limited to grasp the concept of sarcasm.
    I’m actually talking about the other and more interesting comments like the ones of Jay or Paul who blame the author for not being constructive enough or making fun of other’s people misery.
    I don’t know which kind of articles you were used to, but the author has all the rights to make an attempt at humour and sarcasm without trying to solve the middle-eastern crisis in each of his articles!
    It is actually a very funny article! Although question number 9 might be one of the best jokes I ever heard, each other question ranks also very high on the humour scale.
    And sorry to disappoint you, but yes, humour can and should cover all the themes, even other people’s misery and even your one. To be able to really enjoy humour or even consider yourself funny you should be humble and be able to make fun of yourself before making fun of others. Unfortunately, I know this is not the strongest virtue of the Lebanese!! And it is a shame because it would be a much better country if everyone was a bit more humble and a bit less selfish.
    Also unintentional the patriotic tone 🙂 but I guess it is somewhat frustrating not to say anything when you see all these dumb comments (not talking about Jay or Paul).
    Jimmy Arbid, nobody gives a fuck about the 3 minutes you think you lost reading the article! You are not the centre of the world!! And from my point of view, you should lose some more time, it wouldn’t heart you…
    PS: Jay, Jimmy’s comment is what we call a failed attempt at humour, not this article which is a damn good one!!

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    • Hi Jo, apologies, I have just noticed my name is on this blog, most likely that someone was logged in on my facebook and thought it would be funny to cause a stir. Apologies for the deeply offensive comments, these are not true. I have read the article (twice) and it is truly a wonderful well written piece, thank you.

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  33. i had a goood laugh while reading the comments ,lebanese never stop fighting :p,
    While clubbing is an important element in post war lebanese culture ,there are also other issues to solve in leb ,like enviromental issues ,poverty ,illiteracy ,all this while still socializing and not becomig complete nerds

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  35. Jimmy, do I owe you some time for reading all my comment?
    I thought that it was too long for you and that your time was too valuable!
    Well, I guess I was wrong because I also thought that you would be a bit more educated and sophisticated since you studied and you are currently working in the UK. But you clearly lack these values!
    And you also lack British humour.
    What’s wrong with some Lebanese that think they are better than others and do not want to evolve…
    Try to learn a thing or two in the countries you are living in. You are still not the centre of the world 🙂

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    • Hi Jo, apologies, I have just noticed my name is on this blog, most likely that someone was logged in on my facebook and thought it would be funny to cause a stir. Apologies for the deeply offensive comments, these are not true. I have read the article (twice) and it is truly a wonderful well written piece, thank you.

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