The General Situation in Lebanon

The people of Bab el Tebbane and Jabal Mohsen live off less than $4 per day. They cannot afford bread. They cannot afford food. They cannot afford basic accommodations. But they can fire missiles at each other and use weaponry that cost thousands of dollars.

Weapons > food.


Security forces, including our lovely army, can serve as the best moviegoers ever. We should enlist them to break some form of Guiness record. After all, wasn’t movie watching what they were doing yesterday as Tripoli witnessed its heaviest clashes in months?
The Malek el Tawou2 branch in Gemmayzeit was especially busy I heard.


Those wage increases have been approved. Rejoice. The syndicates are victorious. ALL of those poor people will not have more money in their pockets. ALL of the injustice in the country is now behind us… Celebrate small victories, rejoice for the struggles of the weak, the proletariat are here to take their natural place in the circle of governance.**

** disclaimer: this comes with an increase to 15% in VAT on phones, car parts, caviar, increase in stamp prices for bills, increase in stamp prices for phone-related transactions, real-estate related taxes, marine property taxes, enforcing taxes on water wells, decreasing tax returns to tourists, increasing taxes on alcohol, increasing travel taxes and will soon follow with an overall increase in the price of goods.

But hurray for the beautiful selsle.


Elections are, theoretically, in slightly more than 3 months. June 9th is how the myth goes. The reality is that elections are, in fact, postponed but no one wants to admit this. In fact, you can obtain your healthy dose of comedy from politician holding press conferences to announce their resolve to “hold election on time.” – I’ve probably never used this in a post before but here it goes: LMAO.

The reality is that with almost 3 months to go, we don’t have a functional law on which the elections will happen and no prospects for an agreement on a law in the first place.
In other news, did you hear about the law championed by those who want to bring back “Christian rights” that involves turning Lebanon into one proportional circumscription? K.

Meanwhile, some people are already searching for airplane tickets in exchange for their votes in the 2013 elections – at least that’s what my blog’s stats tell me.


Imagine the following scenario: Israel rallies troops near our border. They charge up their tanks, ready their missiles and shoot. Lebanese towns are bombed, people die, our sovereignty – or whatever remains of it – is breached. Lebanon, however, decides to take the “high road.” Our minister of foreign affairs does not complain to the UN. Our army and government decide that not addressing the issue is the way to go. After all, why the melodrama?
Pretty far-fetched right? Except that such a scenario is happening almost verbatim… If you substitute Israel for Syria. But Syria doesn’t count. Because na2i bl nafes that’s why.


Over the past few days, I realized that the amount of people who live bl khassé as the saying goes is way too high. From people who think most people in the country are not extremist towards people from other sects and that addressing the issue is unnecessary to those who think there’s basically nothing wrong whatsoever in the general situation to those who don’t allow us to address the issue of the Syrian refugees because – gasp – racism… And the list goes on.


If all of the above depresses you, albeit slightly, I recommend you take 20mg of paroxetine or fluoxetine daily. Side effects include nausea and possible ejaculatory delay but you’ll feel so elated in 3 weeks and your spouse will be so happy, you’d think Lebanon became some form of utopia. K?

8 thoughts on “The General Situation in Lebanon

  1. Exactly my thoughts… I said the exact same sentence to someone yesterday ” fi ktir ness 3ayshin bel khasse” unfortunately they don’t know the dangers coming to the country.. mfakrin if they go party at Skybar and White in summer it’s their way of ”resisting” war.. LOL.


  2. Beautifully said Elie….It is very sad that our country has reached such a situation while our politicians remain silent….



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