I know I’ve never, ever, written about a Beirut club before. For starters, I’ve never been to any of them and to a lesser extent, I’m not a party person. So I guess it seems fitting that someone as morbid as me would write about a Beirut club – the most infamous of them might I add – when something distressing takes place.
People of the Republic of Lebanon, I am terribly sorry to announce that something extremely horrifying has taken place overnight. Our Beiruti pride and joy, the main manifestation of culture in Beirut for the summer, has received a terrible fiery blow: Skybar is no more. At least for the upcoming season.
The opening was set for next week, but a fire ravaged through more than 60% of Skybar last night, overtaking its VIP area, the kitchen, the dance area, among others. Reports say that repairs need about 5 to 6 months.
It is safe to say Beirut will have, for the first time in years, a Skybar-less summer.
The following are pictures from the scene:
Clearly, this is a conspiracy by The Garten to make sure that they remain the only “it” place for this summer. The other option is obviously an attempt by ISIS at trashing our national heritage and monuments. Palmyra? Assyrians? Nope.
Now that SkyBar has burned down, however, there are pressing issues to be raised and extremely important questions to be asked.
1) Will the country go into mourning tomorrow, will our flags be lowered as they should for such a national tragedy?
2) What will become of our touristy summer season that is entirely dependent on these clubs functioning at maximum capacity?
3) How will we tell EVERYONE now that we are the party capital of the
Middle East world when we’ve lost our most prestigious club?
4) How will we show that we are open and hip and cool and liberal, life and alcohol-loving people who do not live in tents and don’t ride camels?
5) What will happen to all the selfies and the SkyBar-inspired hashtags that all the youngsters who could afford it had planned? RIP #SkyBaringWithFriends.
6) What will happen to all those future Facebook statuses of people who were outraged they were turned away by the bouncer for not being either 1) cool enough, 2) rich enough or 3) connected enough?
7) What will happen to all the unopened “Moet” bottles?
8) What will happen to all the virginities and hymens whose loss was contingent upon SkyBar opening this summer?
9) Will we ever be able to use the world “wel3ane” while partying at Skybar again?
10) What will happen to our future Beirut Snapchat story?
I’m glad no one got injured. Skybar have made enough money in previous years to bounce back from this unscathed.
In the meantime, I’ll leave you to ponder on those existential Lebanese questions in the aftermath of this horrifying national travesty.