Tag Archives: Lebanon

Dear Lebanon, Who The Hell Is Ruby?

Perhaps it’s Medical School life finally catching up with me and keeping me out of many loops but there’s something I don’t get – why is everyone fascinated by someone/something called Ruby?

A few days ago, I was home while my mom and a few of her friends were having coffee. I was unconsciously listening in on the conversation when they started to discuss a woman named Ruby and how “not good” she was. I suppose using the word they used would be inappropriate here. But you get the drift.

I figured Ruby must be someone from my hometown. That’s enough to get me not interested. I’m not big on gossiping especially when it’s about people I don’t know as is the case with almost everyone in Ebrine.

Then I went to Beirut to visit some people who had nothing to do with my hometown. They were also talking about Ruby, using the exact same terminology I had heard before. It couldn’t be a coincidence. No – I refused to be ignorant anymore.

So I did some asking.

It turns out Ruby is a TV show. Yes, a TV show that people are obsessing about en masse. I decided to shrug it off as another Lebanese “it” thing that will soon wear off. How bad could Ruby-mania be? Then I found out my brother, who never – ever – watches such things, is actually tuning in every day to watch Ruby. Perhaps it’s because a good friend of his, Cynthia Khalife, has a role in the series as the Lebanese sister of a Syrian doctor. It could also be that my brother is tuning in to stare at Cyrine Abdel Nour. Who wouldn’t?

When it comes to me, I think the biggest problem Lebanese TV shows and series have is their script and to a lesser extent the acting with the former influencing the latter greatly. In Ruby’s case, the script has been imported from Mexico and translated into a Lebanese-Egyptian-Syrian version.

Is the series any good? Perhaps so. But have we gotten so unoriginal that we can’t come up with our own ideas? What’s next? Will they import Desperate Housewives now that it ended? How about we start our own medical drama à la Grey’s Anatomy while we’re at it?

Either way, I got a glimpse of Cyrine Abdel Nour’s – umm – behind? in Ruby today…. I now understand what the fuss is about.

Meanwhile in Tripoli, Lebanon…

Guns? Who cares!

Missiles? Please!

Violence? Where?

Nicotine? Yes, please!

It’s all about hookah!

The guy looks intimidating enough to steer any bullet away from him. His body has a need for massive amounts of nicotine!

As Tripoli Burned, PM Najib Mikati Was Busy Getting Entertained

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A friend from Tripoli told me yesterday about something – or someone – he saw while watching Cirque du Soleil's Saltimbanco show, currently showing at Forum de Beyrouth.

PM Najib Mikati was apparently so exhausted from what was going on in his hometown that he found it fitting to go and watch a circus show, which he must have figured would be better than the one taking place on the streets of Tripoli.

The prime minister's hometown and one of Lebanon's major cities being in turmoil wasn't enough for him to cancel attending a show. Instead, as people battled on the streets and army men died, the prime minister was busy applauding a bunch of Canadians as they jumped from place to place.

Instead of trying to come up with a plan of action and ordering the army to deploy immediately, Mikati figured it would be better for his city and the country that he takes a break from it all. If Saad Hariri was out of sync with Lebanon due to being away, what excuse can we come up with for the current prime minister for being this untactful?

Instead of blaming militias first and foremost for killing army men and civilians, how about we blame the politicians who let them roam free with their violence for obvious political gains while their eyes satiate with art?

Shadi Mawlawi: The Most Famous Man in Lebanon Today

He has a Facebook account!

Observations from his account are as follows:

1 – His username is chadoudeh. No clue what that means but it’s very unsalafist, in my opinion.

2 – He “likes” so many Arabic pages my eyes immediately lost focus. Facebook is not equipped for this. He is a fan of KFC & Masters Chips though – I guess he likes junk food.

3 – He’s “friends” with MP Mohammad Kabbara. I’m not sure if that’s the MP’s official account or someone faking it.

4 – He likes Osama Ben Laden. Duh!

5 – He wants to become a martyr. 

6 – He is one of the “moujahidin” who want to free up the Islamic world from blasphemy and tyranny.

7 – His taste in books and movies is not very eclectic.

8 – He went to a Christian school… but turned out to be a salafist anyway. Let’s come up with new Salafism-preventing theories.

His brother called him a “normal citizen.” With the arrest of this “normal citizen” the whole city of Tripoli was ignited and civil strife became a threat. This “normal citizen” thing is going around a lot lately, don’t you think? I’ve seen it way too many times in different sides of the political spectrum. I shall deem the condition a disease – normal citizenitis is the name. Let’s try to find a cure where no one is above the law, regardless of what they might or might not have done.

 

10 Things Lebanese Do When Chaos Strikes in Lebanon

This is a cycle that we go through every time something happens in Lebanon that is out of the ordinary. These unLebanese things happen at a rate of once or twice per year and we tend to forget them a week after they’re over.

Without further ado, this is what Lebanese do whenever chaos erupts in our beloved country:

1 – Vow not to vote for either March 8 or March 14 ever again. Both of them are ruining the country.

2 – Start posting Facebook statuses about how horrible Lebanon is.

3 – Depending on political stance, observations about the situation will be made. And everyone is correct. Don’t try to tell them otherwise.

4 – Change Facebook profile pictures to express sympathy and change things because pictures are sure catalysts for change.

5 – Lebanese memes about the situation will surface. The most recent one? “Wa2ta tkoun Trablos wel3ane, enta mamnou3 tentefe” – Buzz ripoff anyone?

6 – Levels of empathy will surge. Chaos struck in region X? We’re all region X. Of course, odds are few knew what region X was a day earlier.

7 – Call up schools and universities with fingers crossed to ask if there are classes the following day, while sounding distressed for credibility’s sake.

8 – Some will panic about anything. Blame their “PTSD” from previous events. Others will pretend to be fierce… because they roll like that.

9 – Start making jokes about the situation because it’s very appropriate.

10 – Between the aforementioned 9 points, proceed with life as if nothing’s happening because odds are you being affected are next to nul – despite your mother telling you to stay home.