Haifa Wehbe’s Sister Does Porn Disguised As “Music”

That awkward moment when the bar is being set so low for “music” in the Middle East that the singers we used to think were talentless begin to appear as producing valid art.

More than a decade ago, when Haifa Wehbe first started singing, everyone and their mother complained about how she was all sex and no talent. As people got used to what Haifa offered, her half-sister Roula Yammout figured it would be alright for her to break into the Lebanese and Arab music industry as well.

I guess she did not get the memo, however, that the tastefulness that her sister offers is not easily attainable. So she made a porno instead, and in doing so makes her sister look like the Oum Koutlhoum of 2016 when it comes to singing.

The song is titled “Ana Rola.” In case you remember, her sister also has a song titled “Ana Haifa” released early in her career. Between both songs, and I can’t believe we’re calling them “songs,” one can be considered a masterpiece compared to the other.

In her song, Roula Yammout claims that she can “fall for any guy” as she prances around in barely-there bikinis while sucking on pacifiers. I don’t get it. She should’ve just gotten a dildo and be done with it.

The following snaps summarize the whole video:

There’s literally nothing more to it than her breasts and her ass and her flashing them around in the hope of her vulgarity catching on and becoming the next big thing in the music scene.

This is not to give her a boost. Her video will make the round soon enough without needing us. After all this is Arabia, and you can smell the sexual repression, and you can almost see her naked. But it is a very scary moment, definitely, when this woman managed to find a producer willing to splurge on her making a porno   music video and probably did so happily, if you know what I mean, thinking that there is a possibility for her to actually make a “musical” dent.

I really hope they’re proven wrong because the only thing to be said about this is: what the fuck is this shit? Is she doing a demo for what the Khaleejis can expect?

 

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Hijabi Porn and National Anthem Pride: Lebanon’s New Joy, #1 Porn Star Mia Khalifa

Being the Switzerland and Paris of the Middle East, it is our duty to prove that we are open minded and not as wretched as the region we are in. Therefore, it is with blinding enthusiasm that Lebanese have jumped on the enticing bandwagon of having a girl of Lebanese origins named the #1 porn star of the moment by Pornhub.

Pornhub Mia Khalifa

Ironically, the same person that blasted Myriam Klink last year  was quick to chat up Mia on Twitter and try to schedule a “meeting.”

Nemr Bou Nassar, Mia Khalifa

And then there were those spear-heading Mia’s right to do whatever she wants with her body and to the penises of countless men around the Earth. Porn is porn. It is expression. It is freedom. It is our God-given right. Isn’t this the same as Jackie Chamoun last year?

Except it’s not quite the same. Jackie Chamoun wasn’t a porn star. Her career didn’t revolve around how many moans and orgasms she could fake per minute. Her rise to fame was not because she made it with porn, and the aftermath of Jackie Chamoun was one of the more interesting debates in the country of the past year.

When it comes to Mia Khalife, the only thing people are capable of discussing at this point are three things:

  1. How big her breasts are and either that is a turn on or turn off,
  2. How many times they’ve masturbated to videos of her already, shouting “GO LEBANON” with each orgasm,
  3. How awesome it is to see her screw with that Lebanese tattoo on her left arm. You don’t believe me? Here’s a NSFW picture:
Tam tarummmm, tam tarum....

Tam tarummmm, tam tarum….

There’s obviously something to be proud of about someone taking our national anthem all the way to American porn history galore, embodying precisely what the anthem is all about: We are all for country, for heights, for the flag. Oh Mia, oh Mia, oh Mia.

And then there’s of course that bit where Lebanon’s very own pride and joy Mia Khalife decided to do a porn video in a hijab, from “acting” along with a hijabi mother who doesn’t approve of her boyfriend – how cliche – and is worried about how her father – Muslim mentality and all – would react. So exciting. To both mother and daughter blowing the guy in their hijab before proceeding to sleep with him on the couch. Riveting.

There’s obviously something to be proud of about a Lebanese who takes a symbol of one of the country’s leading religions and desecrates it in the way that she did. I’m all for whatever expression people like to give their 21st century neo-liberal ideas nowadays, but being proud of someone who fucked her way to the top in a hijab is something I can’t spin into favorable light. In fact, the reason she’s becoming big now is this hijabi porn video:

Mia Khalifa Hijab Porn

There are many Lebanese to be proud of. I even made a list, just in case. But it is in my opinion that there should be a limit to what someone can do – Lebanese or not – before we turn them into the frontrunners of the fights against Da’esh and censorship. Mia Khalife is doing nothing of the sort.

Mia Khalife may look more Lebanese than a lot of Lebanese girls in Lebanon, but a national hero she is not. Is she free to do whatever she feels like? Of course she is. Should we make into more than it is: a silly porn? No. Whatever you do, however, please don’t strip for her. She already did that plenty for you.

Lebanon’s Porn Habits

Popsci has recently published, off of a website called PornMD, an aggregation of every country’s porn habits based on the search items users who are located in that country use while accessing some porn websites.

Some interesting observations that the aforementioned website noticed are the following:

  1. Finland has Oedipus complex,
  2. Iran likes to search for gay porn,
  3. Ukraine has a thing for gay raincoats.

Some observations regarding the Middle East that I noticed are the following:

  1. Syria is into some form of incest. Their top search is aunt.
  2. Israelis are into Arabs.
  3. Palestinians love their families even in porn.
  4. Gulf countries have no data involved. Could be all the blocks.

Naturally, I figured I’d look at Lebanon’s part of the info-graphic. It’s sad to say we are not very creative, although slightly nauseating (shit orgy? Really?), in our porn browsing habits:

Lebanon Porn Habits

You can access the entire infographic, which contains no pornographic material, here.

Arab Porn?

I was linked to this YouTube video by a friend:

After watching it, I was like: Ok, this is funny and the girl is hot but that’s pretty much it. Then I looked at the view and it had 160K.

Then I glanced at the comments and saw ones that went like this:

–  i just got a boner :O – by alyehab

– omg this video causes two things:

1- hard work to the right hand.

2- I have to wash my p>. – by abufaisal1980

– the more appropriate title would be ” how to make a lebanese girl give you a BJ extremely fast” – by lifesnojoke333

There are far more comments of this nature on the video. The thing in common between the users? they’re from the Arab Gulf and they are so sexually deprived, it’s getting ridiculous.

According to my friend Paul Gadallah, Arabs would “find a bar in Beirut to be porn” – and I never thought I would agree to that until I saw the comments on this video. Fine, the girl has shown cleavage – big deal. Why don’t they ask for change in their countries so seeing cleavage doesn’t become this “OMG, I JUST SAW A PART OF A BREAST” moment.

Until then, it’s our sad fate, dear Lebanese, that whenever one of our women wear something even slightly revealing, it would automatically become the jerk off material for some (yes, I’m aware this doesn’t apply to everyone so spare me the comments of you not being like this) Arabs across the Middle East.

Arabs often stereotype Lebanese women as “easy” merely because they show some skin.  Is it their fault for such a stereotype? Absolutely not.  Although Lebanon still has a long way to go in terms of gender equality, regionally speaking it is much more open and is one of the few countries in the region where women can dress up, go party, and in have a regular boyfriend.  Lebanon even hosts the region’s first sexuality magazine, Jassad, owned by the famous Joumana Haddad.  In many Arab countries, especially the Gulf, women are seen as docile creatures and in Saudi Arabia, they still cannot even drive.  To them women going out showing some skin, could only mean that they are sinners; wanting sex bad and are akin to whores, but men going out and partying is perfectly fine, cementing the prevailing hypocrisy and justifying the ever prevalent sexual harassment in the region.

We, Lebanese, are proud of our women – as corny as it may be – just the way they are. Whether they choose to show skin or not, it’s not anyone’s business. And it certainly shouldn’t turn into a repressed Arab’s material for some good time.