Tag Archives: Review

Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey – Book Review (EL James)

The Fifty Shades trilogy, whose three books are currently are the top three sellers in the United States, is anything but tame. The first book, titled Fifty Shades of Grey, should have been titled Fifty Shades of Scarlet. That’s how your face will be while reading it – especially if there’s someone peaking at your copy.

Ana Steele is a soon-to-be college graduate in her early twenties who’s asked by her best friend, Kate, to go and interview a self-made young enigmatic billionaire named Christian Grey at the HQ of his company. Knowing nothing about him, the interview isn’t exactly top notch. But it works well enough for Christian to develop an interest in Ana, who reciprocates the feeling.

What Ana doesn’t know is that Christian Grey is controlling, seriously into BDSM, with a playroom in his huge Seattle apartment, and who wants Ana to be his submissive beyond anything he’s ever wanted before.

Fifty Shades of Grey is carnal. There’s nothing that happens in the 500-pages book apart from the two main characters having sex all the time. The sex scenes are also graphically detailed. Fifty Shades of Grey is porn on paper.

Ana Steele is so one-dimensional as a character that she can’t even remotely draw you in. For a self-proclaimed virgin who can’t wait to be deflowered by Christian, she sure develops an insatiable need for sex. Her character is so shallow that the few moments where she appears to be different are marred by what immediately follows: her relapsing into the girl/women who can’t but seek Christian’s approval. The words “oh my” are present at every sentence to signal her astonishment as she explores the boundaries of her body, reveling in the eroticism of it all. Her “inner-goddess” never gets enough. And it quickly becomes grating.

Christian’s need, on the other hand, is never fully explained. While he is the more interesting character, the potential complexity is barely touched, never delved in. He’s left to his rough exterior, barely ruffled. And if Ana’s needy for sex, she can barely keep up with Christian who never seems to get enough. It eventually becomes repetitive, not adding anything to the story but useless pages to increase the book’s spine.

Fifty Shades of Grey doesn’t manage to go five shades deep, it remains afloat, blowing you, no pun intended, with sex scene after another, after another and then some. It’s a shallow, useless read. It’s repetitive beyond imagination. The characters initiate intercourse using the same gestures: biting their lips, cocking their heads to the side… that you get to smell it coming, no pun intended – again, from a mile away. The success of this book baffles me. I am not a reader of erotic fiction and I don’t think I’ll ever be. But if an erotic book at least had a plot to support it, I can comprehend people going for it. Fifty Shades of Grey has nothing in it.

I pity the person who had to do the audiobook for this.

2/10

Blown Away (Album Review) – Carrie Underwood

At a time where artists follow a repetitive cycle in their careers of album making and touring, Carrie Underwood has decided to break the routine she found herself in and take her time in giving the music industry her fourth album: Blown Away.

Two and a half years after her latest offering, Play On, was deemed as mediocre by critics, Underwood figured the best approach for album number four was a “all bets are off.” When you’re among your generation’s best vocalists, why not seek out material that’s fitting and can only elevate your talent?

This is what Underwood does on Blown Away in droves.

Opening with the rocking Good Girl, the album doesn’t relent. It moves into the haunting Blown Away, a song about a girl seeking revenge on her abusive father which Underwood delivers breathtakingly. The album goes even darker with Two Black Cadillacs, where a wife and a mistress at the funeral of the man who betrayed them both, a song that Underwood also delivers in a chilling manner.

See You Again, originally written for Narnia’s The Dawn Treader, showcases Underwood’s nuanced vocals as she tells a very significant person that she’ll see him again despite all. Do You Think About Me is an effervescent country song about a young love that is long gone but which Underwood keenly remembers.

The album’s most personal track, Forever Changed, is an old-fashioned country song that chronicles the life of a woman as she fell in love, gave birth and is now losing her memory while her daughter achingly watches. Underwood’s very subtle, nuanced and subdued delivery of Forever Changed adds another dimension to the storytelling.

Nobody Ever Told You, a country uptempo serves as a simple empowering anthem for young girls. It’s followed by the tropical Bob Marley-esque One Way Ticket, written while Carrie Underwood, Josh Kear and Luke Laird were sipping margaritas. The laid back atmosphere of the writing session translates perfectly to song with goofy lyrics such as “tell your boss man where to stick it” and whistling delivered by Underwood herself.

Don’t let the cliché title of Thank God for Hometowns fool you. The song hits a nerve with anyone who comes from a small town anywhere around the world. The Ryan Tedder co-write on the album, Good in Goodbye, is a haunting track about meeting a former lover with whom things ended badly, feeling regret even though both are happy with their lives now. “Sometimes, yes sometimes, there’s good in goodbye.”

On the folky and repetitive Leave Love Alone, Underwood delivers a foot tapper as she repeats “I just can’t leave alone.” The country-heavy, Brad Paisley-guitar driven, Cupid’s Got A Shotgun is the album’s most redneck track. With references to guns, riffles and shotguns, Underwood is escaping love at all costs. Brad Paisley delivers a masterful guitar performance on the track.

Wine After Whiskey, a song that didn’t make Carrie’s previous album Play On, is an aching regret of a relationship that went sour, getting diluted into something that doesn’t work anymore. Who Are You, the album’s most religious track and written by Shania Twain’s former producer Mutt Lange, serves as a decent conclusion to the album and resonates with the faith Carrie has professed on many occasions.

Blown Away features a set of masterful lyrics, grouped together with chilling composition and extremely well-done production. Carrie’s voice doesn’t fight against the production as in previous albums of hers, it complements the instrumentation and serves to showcase both the songs and her delivery, which has truly matured on Blown Away. There are subtle hints, sprinkled here and there, that turn phrases and add depth and dimensions to lyrics, something Underwood had touched on but never delved in before. She plays with that on Blown Away like childsplay, showing that a good vocal performance isn’t always about reaching the stratosphere notes, something that she took time to learn.

Blown Away is a very cohesive album that’s a collection of fourteen very strong tracks, the only one of those which is reminiscent of Carrie’s previous material being Good Girl. The album spans the gamut themes-wise. It’s dark, mysterious, chilling. And it’s also fun, happy, goofy. Both sides are balanced perfectly. None seem to overtake the other, both working together to elevate the album’s level to places that Underwood hadn’t reached artistically before. Underwood is fierce on Blown Away. She’s unrelenting. She’s gut-wrenching. And she occasionally plays.

Blown Away is an album about a life: the ups and downs, the vacations, the bittersweet memories, the hardships, faith…. It is a collection that is more than worth the wait that brought it here. Carrie Underwood has managed to blow away detractors with her fourth album. Country music, prepare to be blown away by the latest offering of Underwood.

Yes, Underwood is back. To say better than ever with an album like Blown Away would be an understatement. Make sure to grab a copy on May 1st. You won’t be disappointed.

Grade: A+

You can stream the album on iTunes here. You can also check out the lyrics for all the songs here.

What Once Was (Album Review) – Lee Dewyze

After winning American Idol’s 9th season, Lee Dewyze struggled to find his sound in a music industry that creates a niche for artists and traps them in it. With his newest offering, What Once Was, Dewyze is going back to basics – literally. This album is a collection of recordings that he had finished prior to his participation in American Idol, between 2006 and 2010.

The album was independently recorded with WuLi records prior to Lee’s participation in American Idol and until recently, the songs were unheard of. But that is no longer the case.

What Once Was isn’t produced by a major label and as such, it is unpolished and organic and rough. This feel clearly translates to song. But it works to a certain extent, giving the album a somewhat refreshing feel.

On “Snaps,” the collection’s opening song, Lee bemuses “come with me and I’ll take away to a place where only flowers and the children play. You’re alone but it feels so right. You can bathe in the sun or dance in the moonlight….” Snaps is also the album’s most interesting and engaging song. The finger snaps in the background help to that effect of it being the catchiest song on this record.

On “Fallen,” Dewyze croons the heartfelt chorus before shaking it up with a rocking sound on “Princess Reprise.”

“When She Dances” features an exotic, latin feel as Dewyze sings about how infatuated he is by the girl in question.

Overall, What Once Was is a collection of songs that showcase Dewyze as a credible songwriter and performer. Fans of the American Idol will find something in the 9 songs EP for their taste. Overall, however, the EP feels like it’s lacking an extra punch, after a successful start with “Snaps.”

Perhaps that is why Lee had a hard time finding a record label prior to American Idol – the overall feel of the songs is amateurish at some points. However, the sound conveyed through the songs is promising. It will be interesting to see which sound Lee Dewyze adopts for his upcoming full feature album, after being released from his contract with RCA.

Either way, he is a talented young man and this EP sure proves that.

6.5/10

The full track-listing:

1 – Snaps

2 – Never There

3 – Maybe I Might

4 – Fallen

5 – Princess Reprise

6 – When She Dances

7 – Green With Me

8 – Worth Waiting

9 – Bridge Burns

 

American Reunion – Movie Review

Almost 10 years after the last American Pie movie, the original cast is back for their high school reunion, 13 years after graduating – and all the characters have grown up.

Jim Levenstein (Jason Biggs) & Michelle (Alyson Hannigan) are still married and are now parents to a two year old boy. Their sex life, however, is in a rut and they’re trying to rekindle their romance.

Oz (Chris Klein) is now a hotshot famous sports anchor, dating a model who’s too out there for his taste. And he hasn’t gotten over his first love Heather (Mena Suvari).

Kevin Myers (Thomas Ian Nicholas) is now a work-from-home architect, married to a woman named Ellie. At the reunion, he’ll be tormented by feelings for his first love Vicky (Tara Reid).

Finch (Eddie Kay Thomas) is supposedly a man going on worldwide adventures – from Europe to South America, via Dubai and China.

On the other hand, Steven Stiffler (Seann William Scott) hasn’t done much growing up in the past 13 years. Stifmeister is still as is.

As the original characters go back to East Great Falls, they’re struck by how things have changed, and somehow how so much is still the same. The kid Jim used to babysit is now a young flirtatious woman trying to find the right man to lose her virginity to. The jocks are still jerks. In a way things are very similar to how they were – there’s one catch: they have grown up.

The opening scene sets the tone. American Reunion is hilarious. Yes, it’s cheap comedy. Yes, it uses sex to make you laugh. Yes, it’s inappropriate at times. But you just can’t stop laughing during that movie. Call it lame, call it useless, call it a silly relaunching of a franchise, it still does what American Pie does best: deliver a raunchy comedy.

The best thing about American Reunion is that it doesn’t straddle the lines of sentimentality as some franchises tend to do after a long absence. Instead, it keeps going at you with the same formula that made the first three movies successful: sex jokes, raunchy attitudes, lude behavior, nudity, awkward parent-son conversations. It is formulaic in a way, but no one expected it to be otherwise. Some of the jokes may have been done before, such as Jim’s masturbating scenes and talks with his father that divulge way too much information – you know such scenes are coming but you can’t help but laughing when they do.

How I Met Your Mother fans will be happy with a cameo appearance by Neil Patrick Harris. Fans of the “Stiffler’s mom” storyline won’t be disappointed as well, as Jennifer Coolidge makes an appearance. Many secondary characters are also given their own moments to keep you entertained.

People change, priorities get reshuffled, relationships get rearranged – but American Reunion sets to show that true friendship stays. And for one weekend, those friends will say “the hell with growing up” and have the time of their life, one last time. If you’re a fan of the first three movies, then American Reunion is definitely for you. Even if you haven’t watched any of the first American Pie movies, you won’t go into this not getting what it’s about. The characters that were desperately trying to lose their virginity 13 years ago have come a long way, and yet in a way have gone nowhere at all. This is one reunion worth attending.

7/10

Russell Peters in Lebanon – Show Review: Lame

Russell Peters’ show yesterday could be divided as follows:

40% of the time, he was picking on a man named Bassel.

20% of the time, he was picking on a 16 year old Saudi teenager called Khaled.

20% of the time, he was rehashing old jokes made at previous shows.

20% of the time, he was offering the audience new things.

The end conclusion is 100% of lameness.

I have watched most of his previous DVDs. So the idea I had pre-conceived about Russell Peters was that he was a good enough comedian to have a great show, albeit with a few slow moments stranded here and there. I wasn’t complaining. You can’t have it all over the top.

But what I had to go through on Saturday night at Platea Hall was definitely not something I had expected. Not in the least.

To begin with, the sound quality of the hall was horrible. Being on a limited monetary income, we couldn’t splurge to get the high-end tickets of the “lucky” front-rowers. So us, the poor commoners in the back, had to sharpen our hearing senses to be able to hear Russell Peters who seemed determined not to get the mic close to his mouth. Some had even tried to shout at him that “we couldn’t hear” but he was busy going at it with Bassel, a 38 year old man who happened to have huge eyebrows. Or caterpillars as Russell called them.

At the times when he wasn’t making fun of Bassel’s eyebrows, he was alluding to the masturbatory habits of 16 year old Khaled from Saudi Arabia. It might have been funny at first but when he interrupts a joke more than once to allude to it, it gets redundant and silly.

After feeling Khaled and Bassel became worn-out issues with the crowd, he moved on to a rehash of his previous jokes, the most famous of which is his father’s Indian heritage and accent. Car blinkers, child punishments – all retold with an Indian approach. Been there, done that.

The newer jokes, however, were not all that bad and some, especially those culturally relevant to Lebanon, were quite good. My favorite was an observation about how rampant plastic surgery has become in Lebanese society. Even the government is giving loans for people to do plastic surgery. We can’t accept ugly people here, he joked. Then a fashionably late Lebanese woman walks in. Peters looks at her and complements her breasts – or governmental breasts.

This leads me to another observation of the night. Lebanese people have redefined the concept of fashionably late and Russell Peters pointed it out. The show was supposed to start at 9:00 pm. It started at 9:30 with an opening act. Russell Peters was on stage at 9:45 and some people were still being ushered to their seats at around 10:00 pm. How hard could it be to get there on time, I have no idea.

When the opening act was better than the main show, you know something was messed up. I felt Russell Peters was unenthusiastic, disinterested, going through the motions to simply get things done and be out of there. He wasn’t really performing like he usually does. He was reciting.

I may be either too serious a person or Lebanese people are way too easily entertained because some were going gaga over the show as it ended. I’d like to think it’s the latter because I can appreciate a good comedy show when I see one. This was not one.

6/10