Tag Archives: women

Why Rima Karaki Shutting Up The Islamist Hani Al Siba’i Is Super Important To Middle Eastern Women Rights

The video of Rima Karaki shutting up Hani Al-Siba’i couldn’t come at a more appropriate time for the region. Its rise in popularity happens to take place one day before International Women’s Day.

He is an Egyptian Islamist who is now residing in London after fleeing Egypt where he faces charges for the support of Islamists. He is BFF’s with Al Zarqawi and thinks Bin Laden is to be respected. He’s a pile or hypocrisy: someone who wants to implement the sharia’h… but lives in London. He’s a defense lawyer… but can’t handle an argument.

Out of all people that interviewed him over the times, Lebanese TV presenter Rima Karaki drew the thickest line. She wore a veil out of respect to his presence (even if through satellite from London), and he ended up demanding she shut up for trying to direct the conversation in a manner suitable for her TV show.

She did the opposite and cut him off right there on air, stopping him from spewing even more hate and disrespect to her and, indirectly, to Middle Eastern and Arab women everywhere.

Hani Al Siba’i is a representation of the sheikhs roaming our lands who think everyone should abide by the rules they have in mind, who think they have the right to shut up a woman just because she dared speak up and who have the audacity to not only request it, but shout it on platforms that always give them a megaphone.

In those 2 minutes, Rima Karaki did something that many women in the region are too afraid to do: stand up to a bully who happens to be protected by religious establishments and fear that allow him to thrive.

Rima Karaki - 1

When Al Siba’i tried to intimidate her, she stood her ground and still tried to take the harness of the interview away from his monologue.

Rima Karaki - 2

Instead, she told Al Siba’i something that probably no other woman he ever encountered has ever told him: she would be the one taking the decision.

Rima Karaki - 3

So because this was all too weird and foreign to him, Al Siba’i reverted to what he knows best and told Rima to shut up.

Rima Karaki - 6

So while trying to be respectful, Rima Karaki answered back. I’m sure he wasn’t used to getting that thrown in his face… ever.

Rima Karaki - 5

So naturally, he reverted to full blown sexism and disrespect to bring Rima down. She didn’t budge. She cut his mic off and then his feed.

In those 2 minutes, Rima Karaki did what every single person, let alone women, should do to people like Al Siba’i: cut them off. I couldn’t not find myself rooting for her. There’s nothing sweeter and more beautiful seeing a woman standing up to someone like him in that manner, someone who hates women and contributes every single day to their detriment.

If I were her, I would have thrown away the veil too, just as the Egyptian anchor did a couple of years ago (link).

Ironically, in those 2 minutes NewTV produced the best TV in their history. This is the full video:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bOlpK6Yj5a4

On March 8th, 2015 this is the view across the Middle East and Arab world:

  • Women in Lebanon are not allowed to pass on their citizenship to their children. They are not protected by a decent law against domestic abuse.
  • Women in Saudi Arabia are not allowed to have authority over their own self; their male relatives do. They cannot go anywhere without male chaperones. They are not allowed to run for any government body that is allowed to legislate. They are not allowed to drive. They aren’t allowed to go out without wearing appropriate religious attire.
  • Women in Jordan are still the victims of rampant domestic violence and honor killings.
  • Women in the U.A.E. can face jail time if they are ever caught engaging in pre-marital sex, or drinking.
  • Women in Egypt are still the victims of female circumcision, a barbaric practice whose sole purpose is to decrease their sexual drive.
  • Women in Kuwait and Qatar cannot pass their citizenships to their children. They’ve also only recently, and very limitedly, started to try and become more engaged in the political life of their country.
  • Women in Iraq are being forced, in some parts of the country, to wear head scarves and traditional abayas to cover up. Their political presence only stems from the quota required to be filled by women according to law there.

We live in the region with the world’s highest gender gap.

Gender Gap World

And what is common between all those countries is that the value of women is always contingent upon the integrity of their hymen, their worth relative to the purity of their bodies, their purpose in life is to breed and procreate, but rarely produce, and never, ever, stand up to religious authority without facing repercussions.

Until today.

If there’s anything to empower Arab and Middle Eastern women this year around, it’s this. It’s standing up to those who contribute to those women not having rights, who bring them down every time they try to stand up to themselves, who think that “woman” is an insult, who think women should shut up when a man is speaking and who are given a religious cloak to make all their poison holy.

 

Lebanese Girls Are Not Easy To Get

A map has surfaced recently, championed by the work of a sex tourist called Daryush Valizadeh, that grades women across the world by the level of how easy they are to be picked up.

Sounds sexist? You bet. Sounds wrong as well? It does on so many levels.

I’ve checked the map out of curiosity. It has went viral in the past few days. I have no idea on what basis it was constructed but people seem not to care. The map itself might as well serve as a “where you can rape” guide for men who have no inkling on what it means to hold it in.

But I figured I’d check where Lebanon stands. Our women, whose reputation has been tarnished by folks of the region who view anything that doesn’t fit their mold as promiscuity, are anything but the promiscuous kind that many love to portray them to be.

You can check out the map here.

lEBANESE girls

 

Regardless of what such a map might mean, Lebanon remains a country where sex is a taboo. The joke goes as follows:

Most Lebanese guys I know:
– Are you with premarital sex?
HELL YEAH!
– Would you marry a girl who had premarital sex?
ARE YOU INSANE?

I don’t see that changing anytime soon.

 

How Lebanese Women Can Save Their Lives

Almost a year ago, my October turned pink as my mother got news that she had breast cancer. After the initial shock of the matter subsides, you’re left with one of two options: you either think rationally and fight or succumb to your emotions and crumble. It was a tough year, that’s for sure. My mom wasted away because of the chemo. She lost her hair, vomited anything she’d eat. But she’s getting better now.

My mom, however, is not your typical breast cancer patient: she doesn’t have a family history that would cause anyone to be more vigilant. The other risk factors associated with breast cancer do not apply in her case. And yet, there she was getting a needle stuck in her central IV line. My mother fell through the statistical cracks of medicine, like so many other people out there.

October may be breast cancer awareness month but I figured I’d shed some light on other cancers that aren’t discussed often and which might be prevented with some careful attention.

Breast Cancer:

I’m especially happy at the response I got after writing about my mother’s diagnosis, with many readers coming up to me to tell me that they got their mother to go get tested as well and they’re relieved she has nothing or, in the case of some unlucky few, had a very early stage of the disease. A lot of research and money has gone into breast cancer. We’re at a stage, medically, where early detection is almost synonymous with cure.

Early detection happens by personal observation first and foremost. If you feel any difference in the shape of your breast or any odd sensation that wasn’t there before, make sure you consult a gynecologist who will do a breast exam. Don’t worry, though, the exam is not painful. It consists of very careful inspection of the breast for any masses as well as how any potential mass might be affecting shape, texture, etc.

Seeing as October is free mammography month, there’s absolutely no reason for every woman aged 40 and above not to get one. If you have a family history of breast cancer, mammographies should have started by age 30-35. The sad part is that despite mammographies being either free or at a greatly reduced price during October, Lebanon’s medical community has had trouble in getting the message to some sectors of Lebanese women.

Make sure the women you know get tested this month. Make sure you haven’t had any changes. They might sound like small steps but they can go a long way in saving the lives of the women you love.

Cervical cancer:

The thing about cervical cancer is that there’s a quick screening method for it called a pap smear. It’s recommended to do the pap smear annually until you’re 30, with the test starting preferably by the age of 21. It’s a screening exam so it cannot give you a diagnosis.

The other thing about cervical cancer is that there’s a vaccine which could cut your risk of getting it by about 90%. Why so? Because the main causative agent of the cancer is a virus that’s called HPV, which is acquired by sexual intercourse. It’s preferable  to get the vaccine prior to your first sexual relation. However, even if you have had a sexual relation without taking the vaccine, you can still take it and have your risk reduced dramatically.

A lot of Lebanese women don’t take the vaccine or do a pap smear for the following reasons:

  • They believe it’s a taboo to take a vaccine for something that’s related to sex,
  • The vaccine itself is quite expensive, especially since doctors charge quite a hefty sum to administer it,
  • Many women don’t trust vaccines to begin with,
  • Having a gynecologist is, to many, only a matter that should happen after marriage.

The HPV vaccine, however, has proven itself to be very efficient. With its introduction into the medical field, cervical cancer deaths have drastically decreased. So in case you haven’t taken the vaccine or done a pap smear yet, consider this a sign that you should do so.

Ovarian Cancer:

Ovarian cancer is sometimes called the silent killer of women. It’s currently the leading cause of gynecological cancer deaths among women. It’s so inconspicuous that its diagnosis usually happens at a very advanced stage, when the disease has already metastasized. Less than 20% of women survive an advanced stage of some types of ovarian cancer. This cancer metastasizes to the lungs, liver, bowels, among other organs. The operation required to resect and manage the spread is considered a marathon and often only buys a little time for treatment, which is usually very harsh.

Ovarian cancer doesn’t have screening methods or vaccines. It requires you to be vigilant. A yearly visit to your gynecologist who does a pelvic examination should suffice. If there’s any suspicion, your physician will order an ultrasound to guide any possible diagnosis.

Your Life Matters:

My mother, like many other women, took her health way too lightly. She paid the price for it. Don’t let that happen to you or the ones you love because your health and life matter. There are other types of gynecological cancers than the aforementioned that affect women. The common denominator is not to treat any sign that your body might be telling you lightly, not to have a sense of immortality or denial imprinted on you despite all forms of common sense and, most importantly, not to so shy as to no seek out a gynecologist for any possible reason. On the contrary, make sure you find a gynecologist who proves to be the best fit for you, with whom you can be comfortable and with whom you feel free to discuss whatever’s making you worry.

112 Foreigners Get Lebanese Citizenship. Children of Lebanese Mothers? Nope

There are a lot of injustices that take place in Lebanon daily. For the past few days, it has been the horrid traffic that has overtaken the Lebanese highway due to some serious incompetence – is that a shock? But I daresay a bigger injustice has taken place recently, one that reflects the serious inequality that half of our population goes through daily.

112 people  were granted the Lebanese citizenship yesterday via a presidential decree. Many of those 112 people are from Lebanese origin and as such should get the Lebanese citizenship. Others, however, are most probably not as is the case of Mary Fontinato, an Italian.

I have no idea what criteria are employed to grant citizenship to foreigners in Lebanon as I don’t believe there’s a clear path to citizenship here. To be honest, up until yesterday I didn’t know anyone wanted it.

Mary Fontinato, incidentally not the only woman granted the citizenship yesterday, is an odd case indeed because her children – if any – will never be able to have the honor of being Lebanese bestowed upon them like her. Such a bummer, yes I know.

The list of people who were granted Lebanese citizenship also contains many Jordanians. Those of you who have now gotten worried about the country’s fabric, fear not: the sectarian composition of the list is well preserved. For every “Muslim” addition to our country, you’ll find an Italian priest or a French “Francois.” Lebanon is anything but atypical in that regards.

The list of 112 “foreigners” who were granted citizenship does not contain the children of Samira Sweidan, a Lebanese mother who tried for years to get her government to acknowledge the existence of her children. A judge, who ruled in her favor, soon had his ruling overruled by a governmental decree for it being unconstitutional.

Samira Sweidan is one in a sea of Lebanese mothers who cannot pass on their citizenship just because a solution around the Palestinian dilemma has yet to be found. My cousin, an American, recently got married to another American. Her children will never be Lebanese. My other cousin will soon be married to another American – and her children will only know of their mother’s homeland only by name and the occasional visits, if any.

I’d like to think that our president felt a tinge of regret as he signed that decree into effect. I’d like to think our prime minister thought about all the Lebanese women who have been fighting for years to get to where those 112 people got. I guess I’m being too sentimental. Why would anyone who’s American, Australian, Italian, Austrian or any other decent nationality want the Lebanese one is beyond me.

Check out the list of those 112 people here (Arabic link).

Lebanese Tales You Don’t Hear Everyday

She was blowing the candles off her 35th birthday’s cake. This would definitely be her year. She had a man by her side she was marrying in a few days. She had a loving family. Her wedding preps were going smoothly. And yet, there was this one thing gnawing at her head: how was she going to tell him that he wouldn’t be the first, that the skin on which all dignity lay was not really there, that there were several men before him, that she had even had one ectopic pregnancy which she obviously aborted?

She had gone to her gynecologist a month prior. She asked for advice. She wasn’t worried like other women would be at that point. She knew that medicine can do wonders in that regards those days but she didn’t want anything major. So he stitched her up.

What if I didn’t bleed? She asked. Her doctor told her then that only around 35% of women bled on first intercourse, that the myth with which she was troubling herself was unfounded. But she wouldn’t take those odds. Who knew how those Eastern men thought, she told her doctor. Would any of those men she had slept with in years past marry someone like her?

He recommended she’d get a tube of her own blood with her and hide it. So on their first night of marital bliss, she faked being in pain as her husband thought he was giving his wife a new experience. Faking it all the way to the bathroom, she spilled the blood in the tube on a white towel and returned with it to her husband, clutching her abdomen as she faked the insufferable pain all the way the bed.

She was relieved. He was happy. And she told this to her doctor giddily.

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He was rounding on his patients as he normally does every morning, making sure their night had gone smoothly. After a weekend, Monday morning rounds are more complicated because they require you to catch up with two days of work which you hadn’t attended.

So there she was, a girl his age, suffering from a complication that happens in 1% of assisted reproduction therapy cases. She sat in her bed, obviously worried. But why would she be worried, he wondered. There was nothing about her condition that was troubling if it’s under the control similar to hers.

Mom, can you leave the room for a bit? She asked just as she saw him making his way inside. Her mom obliged. She gave him the bag of medicaments she was on: hormones here, hormones there. He went through them quite fast, still wondering why someone his age, who wasn’t married, would be on a therapy designed to eventually get women pregnant.

But she didn’t want to get pregnant. She was getting her body prepped for something far less motherly – She was preparing her ovules for sale.

It was against the law, sure. The hospital she was in had no clue and would never do such a thing, certainly. But no one was allowed to know.

I’ve got myself covered, she said when he asked her how she intends to carry on with her plan. Just don’t tell my mom.

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