This is a cycle that we go through every time something happens in Lebanon that is out of the ordinary. These unLebanese things happen at a rate of once or twice per year and we tend to forget them a week after they’re over.
Without further ado, this is what Lebanese do whenever chaos erupts in our beloved country:
1 – Vow not to vote for either March 8 or March 14 ever again. Both of them are ruining the country.
2 – Start posting Facebook statuses about how horrible Lebanon is.
3 – Depending on political stance, observations about the situation will be made. And everyone is correct. Don’t try to tell them otherwise.
4 – Change Facebook profile pictures to express sympathy and change things because pictures are sure catalysts for change.
5 – Lebanese memes about the situation will surface. The most recent one? “Wa2ta tkoun Trablos wel3ane, enta mamnou3 tentefe” – Buzz ripoff anyone?
6 – Levels of empathy will surge. Chaos struck in region X? We’re all region X. Of course, odds are few knew what region X was a day earlier.
7 – Call up schools and universities with fingers crossed to ask if there are classes the following day, while sounding distressed for credibility’s sake.
8 – Some will panic about anything. Blame their “PTSD” from previous events. Others will pretend to be fierce… because they roll like that.
9 – Start making jokes about the situation because it’s very appropriate.
10 – Between the aforementioned 9 points, proceed with life as if nothing’s happening because odds are you being affected are next to nul – despite your mother telling you to stay home.