Lebanon’s Sacred Valley – Qadisha

The Qadisha valley (also known as Annoubin) whose pictures you see below is a world heritage site. It is a magical location, deep in the Lebanese mountains, used for centuries to harbor Maronites from persecution.

The pictures are for the western tip of the valley, for a location known as St. Elijah’s convent. I took family members there earlier today and, even though I’ve been there numerous times, the place never ceases to amaze me.

The valley is crowned by the majestic Lebanon mountains, which also harbor the Cedar Forest. In winter, the mountains are adorned with snow.

Lady Gaga Banned In Lebanon

It looks like the Lebanese General Security has decided to ban Lady Gaga’s new album, Born This Way, from being sold and distributed in Lebanon, as reported by The Sun.

The cause of the ban? They deemed the album “offensive to Christianity”. Even her previous single Judas was taken off Lebanese radio soon after it came out in April.

So Lebanon will be one of the few countries in the world where Born This Way will never chart. Bans of the sort (based on religious causes) are never revoked.

But is the ban this relevant? I don’t think so.

Why?

Simply because most Lebanese have either heard the album already or have very simple ways to purchase it, or listen to it: YouTube, illegal downloading, etc….

It’s the same thing with The DaVinci Code. Has anyone not read that book yet? We’ve all gotten a copy from abroad and read it.

As they say, what is forbidden is usually wanted, so this will only increase interest in Lady Gaga’s album in Lebanon. The proper step would have been to simply release the album and let people judge for themselves if they liked it or not. Sure, the album has Christian elements in it but that’s Lady Gaga’s way to deal with her being raised up in a strict Catholic fashion.

After all, it’s not like Lebanese are going to run in masses to purchase the album that will surely be way overpriced at Virgin Megastore outlets.

Kung Fu Panda 2 – Movie Review

Everyone agrees that the first Kung Fu Panda was a great animated movie. It had great animation, witty humor, an interesting storyline and all around awesomeness. It also made a lot of money, which motivated its makers, DreamWorks, to make a sequel.

Well, the sequel is here and is it as good? It depends on your personal preference.

When fireworks were discovered in China, Lord Chen, a peacock prince, started experimenting with them and got his parents worried. They went to an oracle who foretold his demise at the hands of a black and white creature. Chen, overhearing the oracle, went and eradicated all the panda population in China, not knowing that by doing so, he sealed his fate.

Meanwhile, Po (Jack Black) is still the dragon warrior and he’s still out of shape. If you thought him becoming the almighty warrior would allow him to go up a flight of stairs, you were mistaken. He also can’t control his hunger yet. Not that you should complain. It’s Po, after all. The Furious Five are also back, with the same actors and actresses giving vocal performances. Angelina Jolie returns as Tigress, in case you’re wondering.

Facing thefts across Chinese towns of metal things, Po and the Furious Five set out to save the day, only for Po to have a flashback from parts of his life he had forgotten. And so, as they set out to save China from Lord Chen, Po is also on a mission to find himself.

Kung Fu Panda 2 is much more heartfelt than its predecessor. It is at points simply emotional. There’s one particular scene in mind that will shake you to your core. It is also less funny than the predecessor. That’s why I’m not sure if it’s better. It is a very good movie in itself. It is highly enjoyable, authentic and, well, awesome. If your idea of a good animated movie is one that’s not fun all the time, with moments that will get you thinking or emotional, you will love this one. If you wanted something more like the first one (fun, fun, fun), this one is slightly different but you will enjoy it nonetheless.

Jack Black is great in giving life – again – to Po. He’s hilarious at some points and, when required, pretty sentimental. Angelina Jolie is back as the awesome heartless Tigress, only this time, she will have heart. The movie also features the vocal talents of Gary Oldman as the villain Lord Chen. Jean-Claude Van Damme (he still exists?) also gives his voice to one of the characters and so does Dustin Hoffman.

Overall, Kung Fu Panda 2 was a highly enjoyable movie. It doesn’t clash in continuity with its predecessor and fortifies the idea of a Kung Fu Panda saga. So if you have nothing to do on some afternoon and you’re in the mood for some heartfelt awesomeness, this is the movie you need to watch.

Dear Egyptian Woman

Yes, that’s it… sit down on this chair.

Don’t be afraid, I’m not going to hurt you. After all, this is a necessary check-up because this is how low I have decided to sink.

Don’t be nervous. I know it’s not the most normal thing for someone in my position – no pun intended – to do, but after all that happened, this is a must.

Don’t be shy. It’s not like I haven’t seen one before.

Now, here’s what you should do. Spread them. Yes, your legs, spread them. It’s my duty to check if you’re still pure.

Why so? Because I am simply perverted. I don’t want you to accuse me of raping you and somehow in my twisted mind, you not being pure means you were not raped.

Will you be uptight if I try to touch it? Like right there? Does it feel good?

Don’t cry. I don’t want you to cry. This is just a formal procedure.

But damn it, this is seriously turning me on… do you think I could probe in some more?

It won’t be counted as rape, even if you said no. After all, you are not pure – for that is the only measure I can think of.

So what do you say? are you in or out?

Out? Don’t be so rude now. I need this. I need you. I want you. You don’t want me too?

No? Are you serious? Do you really want me to take you on this table like the slut you really are? Yes? You’d like that?

It’s not rape after all.

Sincerely,

Supreme Council of the Armed Forces (SCAF) in Egypt.

Justin Bieber’s Perfume… For Her

Not only is it horrifying to see Twitter constantly filled with teenagers who call themselves “Beliebers” (Yes, how atrocious can that get?) but they’re literally everywhere. I thought we didn’t have those in Lebanon until I was linked to pictures of the premiere of Justin Bieber’s movie and let’s just say, the country has another kind of infestation going on as well.

Well, Justin Bieber is doing what most singers do when they reach mass hysteria level of fandom: release a perfume. It’s just that it didn’t click in his head that since he’s supposedly male, the perfume should be addressed to his own gender (not that I’d buy). So he made a perfume designed especially for his fanbase, which I’m assuming is mostly screaming girls.

So dear little girls everywhere attempting (or already done so) to throw things at your computer screen for me dissing the husband-to-be that you will never have, come this June, you will be able to smell the way Justin Bieber wants you to.

And if you take the perfume ad he filmed to the letter, whenever you put on this awesome perfume, Justin Bieber will magically appear in your room, smell you, and take you on a journey you will never forget and then depart. Don’t let your head wander, little girl reading this. Your mom won’t be too happy to know you have such thoughts (or it might just be me, in which case, my apologies).

The perfume is named Someday. I have no idea if that’s supposed to be a lyric of a Bieber song but it might as well be the key to give false hope (see above paragraph) to the millions of girls who will rush to buy this, hoping that someday, they will become the “Kate Middleton” of women, except by the time Justin Bieber feels like getting married, he’d hopefully be long gone into the realms of forgetfulness.

This is Someday’s ad on YouTube, where it already has over one million hits so far:

The ad also has its own YouTube page where Justin Bieber “gives fans a personal invitation and intimate access to his heart” through the fragrance. The girl in the ad is apparently named Dree Hemingway and she is the great granddaughter of Ernest Hemingway.

I don’t know about you but I will be very happy when this phase in human history ends.