Tag Archives: Lebanon

33 Days – A Lebanese Movie About The July 2006 War Banned At ABC Mall

Picture from the Facebook page: Stop Cultural Terrorism in Lebanon

Just as we talk about the bans and transgressions that happen with what some people refer to as “pro-Israel” entities, we cannot talk about being fair until we point out similar bans that happen on the other side.

ABC Mall’s management banned Grand Cinemas from showing 33 Days, a new Lebanese movie, starring Carmen Lebbos and Bassem Maghnieh as well as Youssef el Khal. 33 Days, which is a Lebanese-Iranian production about a Hezbollah mission to release Lebanese prisoners in Israeli prisoners during the July 2006 war.

Legally, the owners of ABC Mall have the right to allow or disallow movies from being screened at Grand Cinemas. However one cannot but wonder why they decided to ban this movie from being screened?

The movie’s producer said he does not know if it’s for a political reason. I cannot but think of political reasons for the ban, in which case shame on ABC Mall’s management for not respecting the basic freedom rights. You’re against Hezbollah? Fine. So banning a movie that talks about something Hezbollah makes you feel better? Does it make you feel like you did something worthwhile?

The only thing ABC’s management did with banning 33 Days is to make a fool out of themselves for being xenophobic inside their own country.

If there’s anything ABC’s management should have considered, apart from every logical reason that might come to person’s mind, is that you have more than 1000 Lebanese who died in the July 2006 war (You can read a story of one of the war’s victims here). Most of those 1000 people were innocent people whose only fault was being at the wrong place at the wrong time. We may not agree with their politics, but the least we can do is not ridicule their memory by banning a movie about the cause that led to their death.

What’s sad is that news about Lara Fabian being banned from coming to Lebanon spread like wildfire across the cyberspace. News about the movie’s ban did nothing.

The movie is being screened at other Grand Cinemas theaters in Lebanon.

Alain Aoun & Ahmad Fatfat: When Lebanese MPs Go Wild In Session

As our honorable MPs exchanged accusations of corruption, treason and theft, none stood out as much as FPM’s Alain Aoun and FM’s Ahmad Fatfat.

Alain Aoun to Ahmad Fatfat: Enta fejer!

Fatfat to Aoun: Ma 7ada m3allem l fjour gheir m3allmak!

Here’s a proposition that needs to be included in the upcoming electoral law:

– Any candidate needs to have gone through twenty four rounds of anger management courses until the following accusations do not get him/her to explode: thief, Israel-traitor, corrupt, silly, useless, etc.

Who wants to bet that we will see both Alain Aoun and Ahmad Fatfat in 2013’s parliament?

Until then, fi a7la men fjour l nouwweb? Tfeh.

When Lebanese MPs Fall Asleep in Parliamentary Sessions

The following picture was apparently from a previous parliamentary session in 2006 by Al Liwaa newspaper. They are saying he was picking up something from the floor. I guess take this picture the way your logic tells you. 

We made fun of the Egyptian salafis for doing it. Now it’s our turn. MP Baqradonian (sp?) was found fast asleep during the country’s latest parliamentary sessions regarding the government.

Were they this boring? I wouldn’t really know. Somehow the idea of watching half a parliament bicker away and not really change anything isn’t at the top of my TV-priority list.

And by the looks of it, it’s not even on Baqradonian’s. Those eyeglasses must be very uncomfortable and the masb7a was not entertaining enough, apparently. Sleep tight, mr. MP. I’m fairly certain you’ll be back in 2013, with a pillow this time.

Dreaming of a better country, I hope

La Wloo!!… How To Be a Lebanese Journalist/Blogger Know-It-All

This is a reply to the La Wlooo!!! column at BeirutNightLife.

It starts when you go to college and get a degree. This degree is the key to everything. Just because you have a degree in biology doesn’t mean you can’t discuss psychology and just because you have a BA in psychology doesn’t mean histology is out of reach. It’s all under the umbrella of knowledge.

And what better way to make yourself known that to express your all knowing self?

So it begins: the process of becoming a Lebanese journalist, blogger, writer, what have you, know-it-all.

1 – Find a platform:

You can start your own platform and express your exquisite level of knowledge all you want. What’s better would be to go around and search for a website that desperately needs your knowledge in order to generate debate and thus, website hits. That way, you won’t have to start from scratch and you can propagate your expertise regarding everything to a wide range of audience. They, as in the masses, are gullible. They will eat up anything you write about and help spread it around like there’s no tomorrow.

2 – Talk about anything:

Men and Facebook? How they’re gay for saying “looool?” – what an exquisite idea. You can write an op-ed about that. Women wearing strapless bras? That’s internet gold right there. Mini-skirts, showing cleavage? You betcha! A SEO-friendly title would help. How about you bring in the Arab hits as well? Let’s see… you can write: LEBANESE GIRLS HAVING SEX. That’s sure to get their attention, now wouldn’t it?

3 – Your opinion is fact:

Don’t let people tell you otherwise. After all, you know it all. Anything you know, they simply do not and they simply cannot *insert appropriate meme because they are hip these days* be correct while you are wrong. Therefore, you need a high-horse to climb. Then on top of that high-horse, add a pedestal. Because you’re that in these days. You’re also very high off the attention. Why not take it literally? The people are commenting en masse. Most of them agree with your all-knowing self. You are on cloud 9. You are on top of the world.

4 – Don’t Let Anyone Bring You Down:

Some other fake know-it-all come around and try to tell you off? Just shrug them off as haters. Write a sarcastic article about how they got you to crawl on your bathroom floor and weep. Then tell them off because that is exactly what a true-bred Lebanese know-it-all like you should do. While bashing their heads off, you can also blast Kelly Clarkson’s Mr. Know It All to get you in the mood of it. “Baby, you don’t know a THING!” you will sing to the screen while your fingers bang on your keyboard.

5 – Use Vulgar Language:

An article is never complete without dropping terms here and there that will get heads rolling. You know it all so there’s no way that such terms can be considered offensive. When you talk about hoes, you’re doing so because they are hoes – no way around telling it like it is. Those that don’t understand that are simply not enlightened enough. Vulgar language is here to serve your all-knowing self. And it will definitely make your article more appealing to the reader. There’s nothing more than a read filled with your grotesque depictions of people. You must shock people in order to get your point across. To talk about mini-skirts, you must use the language of those mini-skirts.

6 – Point Out Your Wittiness and Sarcasm:

Many of those miserable non-know it all readers will feel your article degrading and demeaning. After all, they cannot but be dimwitted lovers of those whom you’re talking about. So you must conclude with an italicized disclaimer that your article was sarcastic. People are just not on your level of intellectual capacity to know that your articles are reeking of social sarcasm at a situation you find peculiar. Besides, you don’t want to let people feel you’re attacking them personally now, you know, just in case.

“This is how it feels to be schooled in the art of writing a respectable satirical article”

Lebanese Girls: Your Guide To Look Like Sluts, BeirutNightLife’s Newest Masterpiece

No, these are not sluts.

After a horrendous piece on transsexualism in Lebanon, BeirutNightLife is at it again. This time, the article is about Lebanese girls who like to dress like “hoes.” The article’s title: La Wlooo!!!…How to Look like a Lebanese Bimbo.

After being attacked countless times for making fun of Lebanese girls who love looking like hoes, I figured ho-defenders out there are too many to be conquered by merely one loser such as myself — but I’ll keep writing about these divine creatures, who I’m so envious of, because I’m so ugly and miserable. So many of my intelligent ho-loving readers, who love me so much, accuse me of being fat, ugly, unbearable, miserable, bitter and single; they have truly exposed me for who I truly am. After weeping on my bathroom floor for weeks, I decided to emerge from my funk as an enlightened one that has come to terms with one truth: I am ugly, and prostitutes are ravishing; hence, I am jealous of them and want to look exactly like them, which is the only logical reason as to why I make fun of them.

If you’re ugly like me, you’ll need to start looking like a ho asap so you can find a gentleman who will appreciate your personality and want to marry you and have your babies one day.

 This is the article’s introduction. After your outrage at this has subsided, let’s go through it bit by bit.

1) The article’s writer is basically calling every Lebanese girl that shows cleavage a prostitute. There’s no other way around this. And if this wasn’t her intention, then her phrasing was so bad that it can only be interpreted as such.

2) I don’t really care about what people told the article’s writer regarding her previous chef-d’oeuvre. I have been attacked multiple times on various blog posts here and you don’t see me coming off as bitter about it, nor do I go on writing sarcastic pieces about how they are in the wrong and I am in the right. Why? Because when you’re discussing such a topic, you don’t really get the right to be the scorned woman when you’re calling every single woman out there who doesn’t dress like you a slut and those who like such women “ho-lovers.”

3) Defending a woman’s right to dress the way she wants does not make one a ho-lover. It doesn’t make the woman a hoe. In fact, using the words hoe, ho-loving and bimbo is an insult. I’m writing this from class today. The girl sitting in front of me is sporting a mini-skirt. Do I naturally assume she’s a slut and because I like what she’s wearing, I’m a ho-lover? So much wrong.

Let’s proceed with the amazingly detailed and researched article.

The writer wants Lebanese women who are haters of the “hoes” to admit the truth that they are really jealous and that their aim in life should switch from becoming lawyers and doctors and dress up like sluts just to get a man of quality. “Real beauty is looking like a $2 h**ker,” she says.

Furthermore, the writer then gives a guideline for women to dress like hoes: show everything you can, even your private parts, while standing on hooker heels. She also gives them a dress code for daytime where they need to put on copious amounts of perfumes and “stick to scents that will make you smell like a baby wh**e.”

She then proceeds to tell the women that “when you go out dancing, make sure to rub your butt on every strange man standing nearby. As you do this, touch yourself while chewing gum and sucking your finger simultaneously. Once again, if you’re wearing those feminine h**ker heels, the stranger you’re rubbing up against will marry you within weeks.”

And after various other meaningless paragraphs, she concludes by saying:  “The awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you are stupid.”

No, you don’t get to write such an article and then call it sarcasm to escape the anger of those who don’t “understand” it. And for the record, your sarcasm is not advanced. It’s way out of place. How about you dress the way you want and leave your nose out of other people’s business or cleavage for that matter? This is a free country. The only reason the article writer is up in a fit is because of the stereotypes that such women generate towards other Lebanese women. But the fact is that if this writer had been in any other country, she wouldn’t have cared. And the only reason she cares is because repressed arabs look at Lebanon as a sex paradise.

Should we care about what they think? No. Should we really be up in a fit about the way some of our women dress? No. Is it your business to begin with? Absolutely not.

If there’s anything that needs to change in this country is narrow-minded people who can’t but gossip “sarcastically” in order to prove a point. Calling people names is not the way you change things. You need to take a look at the file names for the attachments on the article: Dominique Hourani is called a Lebanese prostitute and Marwa is called a Lebanese whore. Is that sarcastic too?