Tag Archives: Miss Lebanon

What To Expect Tonight on Miss Lebanon

I found out a few minutes ago that the Miss Lebanon pageant is taking place tonight, in less than an hour actually. I remember watching it last summer and having more fun reading all the tweets that made fun of the pageant.

So here’s what we can expect from Miss Lebanon this year:

  • No bikinis.

Because the Arabs might be watching and God forbid they see the skin on the torsos of the Lebanese women. Some über conservative Lebanese might be appalled too. The sacrilege, I tell you!

  • Plastic. 

The noses, the boobs, the cheeks… even the hair. The girls that were chosen will, similarly to every year, have absolutely nothing to do with how Lebanese girls actually look like on the streets. Of course, their answer to questions regarding plastic surgery will be: “Of course I’m against! Beauty is on the inside.” Aww? No.

  • 9.9999!

The jury will be literally paraded all evening. This certain current nobody was a previous somebody who has nothing to do with judging a beauty pageant. That person who shares my last name will also be there because the ministry of tourism needs to be represented. And the stratosphere grades will start rolling by. All of the girls are top class super models.

  • Peace & social media.

Be sure that all of the questions the girls will be asked will revolve around these two themes. How would you use social media to promote peace? How would peace benefit Lebanon’s tourism? How would you use social media to promote the peaceful Lebanese tourism? Every combination that you can come up with regarding these two themes will be asked. Of course, the answers will vary from the “Uhh – brain freeze – uhh, mom!” to the 23 minute debate about the importance of vitamins in meals. Irrelevant? You bet. Also don’t forget the importance of world peace wel mou7afaza 3al arze.

  • The winner. 

The winner will be so obvious from the get-go that you wouldn’t even bother being emotionally invested in any of the participants. Not that you should – unless you’re her mother of course. She will get the most applause. She will get the most points even though you are more than sure she doesn’t deserve them. You will ask around and eventually find out that her father or mother or great great cousin two degrees removed was some hotshot person in society. And it will make sense.

  • The feminists.

You should never forget these. They will be on the prowl the moment the jingle starts. They will bring down the girls for promoting the materialistic image to women (while they nibble on popcorn, criticizing the makeup of this and the dress of that). They will inundate you with sermons about the need to have women get past this rudimentary male-enforced view. Bla bla bla.

  • The lip-synching.

The pageant will have a top notch musical guest who will not sing one note. Don’t even bother wondering if whoever they’re bringing is actually singing or not. They’re not. They won’t even bother doing a good job at it. As they say, temmo/a bi meil wel ghanniyeh bi meil. 

  • The jingle.

They remix it every year and it has been around since 2003. “Kell shi ma32oul ysir 3enna l layli” – not quite. But the contestants will dance to it as if their life depended on it.

Have fun watching 😛

 

Jessica Kahawaty: A Lebanese Wins Miss Australia 2012

This is not the first time this happens and the resemblance between both girls’ cases is interesting.

Jessica Kahawaty has been crowned Miss Australia 2012, the second Lebanese after Nicole Ghazal. Both of them had participated in Miss Lebanon before attempting their luck at Miss Australia and both of them were deemed good enough to be runner ups only.

I guess this speaks more about the insurmountable amount of “wasta” present in the Miss Lebanon competition, regardless of what they try to portray, and where the best candidate doesn’t always win, let alone letting proper girls participate in the first place.

But hey, world peace is super important!

Jessica was a candidate at the 2012 Miss Lebanon pageant which saw Rahaf Abdallah win:

Miss Lebanon Yara Khoury-Mikhael and Her Recent “Congo” Remarks: The Controversy!

You know what’s another example of the mass hypocrisy of the Lebanese people? The most recent issue with Miss Lebanon Yara Khoury-Mikhael, who was crowned on July 10th.

I don’t hide my indifference (and ridicule) to her as evident by this scathing post I wrote in response to her answers at the Miss Universe competition. But sometimes, you need to say: enough is enough.

During a Miss World 2011 interview after going to the Republic of Congo where she visited her father, she said: “I think it’s kind of relaxing for me because Lebanon is kind of noisy… Yes, it’s very busy and the traffic is crazy there so I think when I go to Congo, it is kind of calm, peace and people over there they appreciate small things. I kind of enjoy it. I feel more at ease. It’s like relaxation time.”

Yara’s duty to represent Lebanon is known, regardless of how ridiculous a pageant representation is. I’d much rather be proud of my country’s national team beating South Korea 2-1. How about that, right?!

Anyway, soon after those statements by Yara Khoury-Mikhael, she started getting bombarded left and right by people who accused her of berating Lebanon. Apparently she was not “proud” enough of her country. But I believe her statement, poor English-aside, was taken absolutely out of proportion. People need to chill and relax.

First, she didn’t say anything negative  (or nonexistent) about Lebanon. We have traffic. Life in Beirut is definitely hectic. The urban parts are noisy. Next time you want to complain about the noise, how about you stop honking your car every ten meters?

Second, just like every single Lebanese person likes to travel to relax, Congo might be her preferred destination of vacation. I’m pretty sure if her statement had been: “I think it’s kind of relaxing for me because Lebanon is kind of noisy… Yes, it’s very busy and the traffic is crazy there so I think when I go to France, it is kind of calm, peace and people over there they appreciate small things. I kind of enjoy it. I feel more at ease. It’s like relaxation time,” no one would be throwing a fit. A nonexistent comparison with France is more redeeming than a nonexistent with a third world African country, right?

Third, and finally, many Lebanese (more numerous to count) are drooling day and night about getting those coveted visas to all those “better” countries because “Lebanon sucks.” All you hear is them complaining left and right, ever single second of every day, about how horrible their life is in Lebanon, about how they feel unaccomplished, about how the beach regulations suck, about how our electricity keeps cutting, about how our internet is among the slowest in the world, etc…. None of us truly appreciate the little things about Lebanon that we all take for granted. None of us take our country seriously. And yet, when someone like Miss Lebanon makes a statement that is a VERY censored version of what all of you say among your friends, families, etc… you shout in angered protest. How about less hypocrisy and more self-control?

Yara Mikhael-Khoury is definitely not the best Miss Lebanon we had and she did mess up immensely at Miss Universe. But today is the time to cut her some slack. It has been a while, however, that a Miss Lebanon has caused so much upheaval. This is Yara’s reply to the critics regarding this incident.

For reference, you might want to check this post I wrote back in July, which keeps ringing true the more I hear about the ridiculous stuff Lebanese say about Lebanon.

Miss Lebanon Yara Khoury-Mikhael at Miss Universe 2011

As I sat with my friend Elia contemplating the beauty of having lots to do and not doing any of it, she showed me this great video of our beauty queen Yara Khoury-Mikhael, proudly and enthusiastically representing our awesome country at the Miss Universe pageant.

I understand she’s just nineteen. But come on, she should have grown out of this stupidity and into another level of maturity by age fifteen.

But hey, at least now we have a thing in common between tigers and women. What is it? Yup, posture. After all, women are better than men because they can drive and talk on the phone and do their nails at the same time. They also get into accidents. But who cares right?

Just a word though… everyone who was paid off to vote her as Miss Lebanon needs to be sued. It’s not like last year’s representative was even better. At least this one can string a grammatically coherent English sentence, albeit being totally devoid of plausible meaning. Any girl on the street would give a better answer to the alien question. A simple yes or no answer would have been more honorable.

Yara Khoury-Mikhael, you are shallower that the children’s pool in swimming resorts and I am ashamed to say you represent my country, even if it’s just a useless beauty pageant.

And if you’re absolutely mesmerized by her, here’s the lesson she’s trying to give: posture is evolutionary important, along with non-existent multitasking, as the main difference between men and women, who happen to share some of that posture-ness with awesome tigers who like to go on the wild side – if you know what I mean.

 

For my opinion on her “Congo” comment, click here.