Tag Archives: sex

Sex in Lebanon: How About We Stop Calling Our Women Whores?

The following is a guest post by an anonymous Lebanese woman.

I didn’t like my first time. Not because I was underprepared. Not because of the little pain I felt. Not because I didn’t feel pleasure after it. But because of what I thought people would think of me now that my hymen had been sloughed off.

I was 17 back then. Don’t faint. Yes, I was sexually active as a teenager. I’m 23 now. A lot has happened in 6 years.

I dumped my most recent boyfriend a while back. I had slept with him as well. Little did I know, however, that I’d get word that this so-called boyfriend was busy calling me a “whore” behind my back, letting everyone know about his exploits with me. He thought he had led me on. He thought I was so gullible I’d fall prey to his irresistible charm.

Time for a mini-vomit moment? Yes.

The thing my horrendous ex doesn’t know is that I wanted to sleep with him as much as he wanted to sleep with me. The thing I think most Lebanese guys don’t know is that we, Lebanese women, need sex as much as them. The only thing stopping us from pursuing it like they do is our fear from society turning on us.

“Chefto heide? Bento la flen? Eh heide charmou*a.”

I’m not afraid to walk around Hamra, my neighborhood, today with my head held high. I have nothing to be ashamed of. Who should be ashamed is every single person in Lebanese society who has no problem deflowering a girl or penetrating her, both literally and figuratively, and then pretend it was her fault for being receptive.

I have to ask those men busy calling women whores. Who are you sleeping with exactly? Dolls? Fleshlights? I rest my case.

For the women criticizing other women who sleep around, why don’t you do something useful instead? Like trying to get us into power, like trying to lobby against our current laws which are way more degrading to us than a reputation you think I’m forcing on you. Instead, you’re busy bringing down every other women who doesn’t fit into the conservative mold society has implanted in your head. I’m not judging you because of it. You have the right to be critical. But I’m pretty sure there are lots of things I can criticize about you. You don’t see me doing that, right?

People with glass houses shouldn’t throw stones.

Lebanese society, when it comes to sex, is slowly opening up. No pun intended. But we have a long way to go. No one has a problem admitting sex is a beautiful thing. And it sure is. But many have a problem acknowledging that people are actually having sex.

I spent last summer in Paris and it was one of the most liberating experiences of my life. I wasn’t afraid of what people would think of me if I had a little more than I should to drink at a pub. I didn’t care about what some guys would think if I was obviously hitting on them. I didn’t think what other girls would think about me being happy on a Saturday night.

I do that in Lebanon too.

But the thing is, the girls and guys of Paris didn’t care as well. Their equivalent in Lebanon would be eyeing me either as a potential prey or as a threat. Take your pick.

I recently read an article on NowLebanon by Angie Nassar titled “A Culture of blame” and while I believe her analogy between what happened with Myriam Klink and NewTV’s Ghadi Francis is a little far-fetched for my taste, I have to say that the most poignant point is made early on:

If a woman steps outside the strict boundaries of behavior prescribed to her, she faces communal rejection, stigmatization, violent assault (as in the case of Francis), and even death by way of “honor killing.”

The sad thing is that everyone’s participating in painting the box that women are allowed to be free in: the men, the women and our media.

For example, when it comes to the Myriam Klink incident, no one had a problem rejecting Nemr Abou Nassar for calling her a whore. Her song is sexually suggestive? Of course. But what right does that give anyone for calling her a whore, regardless of how “obvious” you might believe that is?

When it comes to the Ghadi Francis incident, if the SSNP – horrible as that party may be – had beaten up a man, wouldn’t that have caused a bigger stir than the basically irrelevant ripple that the Francis incident caused?

When it comes to everything in our society today, don’t you find that there’s a flagrant double criteria applied to women, the most simple of which is the issue of sex? Men are allowed to have sex. Women are not. If men become promiscuous, then they are deemed as studs. If we fool around, then we are whores.

People tell me that I need to appreciate my body and not let it defiled in the way that I think should be permitted. But I have to ask, what business does my body have to do with you? Isn’t this my skin, my muscles, my face, my breasts and – gasp – my vagina? Don’t I own all these things? Aren’t they the byproduct of my parents having sex to bring me here? Aren’t these my property and no one else’s? Don’t I get to do anything I want with something I own as long as it doesn’t hurt you?

I don’t see how me having sex is hurting you.

I don’t see how me having sex can be hurting anyone.

I don’t see how me having sex should elicit any response apart from the question from my girlfriends “so how was it?”

Sadly enough, getting to that point is still so far that the questions many of my girlfriends as me today is “how could you? After only the first date?”

Perhaps I’m a little hasty and upfront. Perhaps I should be a little slower. But the whole point is the reputation of Lebanon doesn’t rest on my body. Stop making it seem as if me having sex is hurting our country indefinitely. Stop making it seem as if the whole Lebanese situation rests on my hymen. Stop making it seem as if the whole solution of the sectarian system is contingent upon me being forever untouched. Stop making it seem as if being a good person can only happen with me not spreading my legs – ever – except for my future husband. Stop making it seem as if the only interaction men would want with a girl like me is to get into my pants. Not gonna happen.

If me spreading my legs for you will make you go all conservative on my reputation behind my back, then let me tell you something quite honestly. It’s going to be you and your hand every single night.

Lebanese Girls: Your Guide To Look Like Sluts, BeirutNightLife’s Newest Masterpiece

No, these are not sluts.

After a horrendous piece on transsexualism in Lebanon, BeirutNightLife is at it again. This time, the article is about Lebanese girls who like to dress like “hoes.” The article’s title: La Wlooo!!!…How to Look like a Lebanese Bimbo.

After being attacked countless times for making fun of Lebanese girls who love looking like hoes, I figured ho-defenders out there are too many to be conquered by merely one loser such as myself — but I’ll keep writing about these divine creatures, who I’m so envious of, because I’m so ugly and miserable. So many of my intelligent ho-loving readers, who love me so much, accuse me of being fat, ugly, unbearable, miserable, bitter and single; they have truly exposed me for who I truly am. After weeping on my bathroom floor for weeks, I decided to emerge from my funk as an enlightened one that has come to terms with one truth: I am ugly, and prostitutes are ravishing; hence, I am jealous of them and want to look exactly like them, which is the only logical reason as to why I make fun of them.

If you’re ugly like me, you’ll need to start looking like a ho asap so you can find a gentleman who will appreciate your personality and want to marry you and have your babies one day.

 This is the article’s introduction. After your outrage at this has subsided, let’s go through it bit by bit.

1) The article’s writer is basically calling every Lebanese girl that shows cleavage a prostitute. There’s no other way around this. And if this wasn’t her intention, then her phrasing was so bad that it can only be interpreted as such.

2) I don’t really care about what people told the article’s writer regarding her previous chef-d’oeuvre. I have been attacked multiple times on various blog posts here and you don’t see me coming off as bitter about it, nor do I go on writing sarcastic pieces about how they are in the wrong and I am in the right. Why? Because when you’re discussing such a topic, you don’t really get the right to be the scorned woman when you’re calling every single woman out there who doesn’t dress like you a slut and those who like such women “ho-lovers.”

3) Defending a woman’s right to dress the way she wants does not make one a ho-lover. It doesn’t make the woman a hoe. In fact, using the words hoe, ho-loving and bimbo is an insult. I’m writing this from class today. The girl sitting in front of me is sporting a mini-skirt. Do I naturally assume she’s a slut and because I like what she’s wearing, I’m a ho-lover? So much wrong.

Let’s proceed with the amazingly detailed and researched article.

The writer wants Lebanese women who are haters of the “hoes” to admit the truth that they are really jealous and that their aim in life should switch from becoming lawyers and doctors and dress up like sluts just to get a man of quality. “Real beauty is looking like a $2 h**ker,” she says.

Furthermore, the writer then gives a guideline for women to dress like hoes: show everything you can, even your private parts, while standing on hooker heels. She also gives them a dress code for daytime where they need to put on copious amounts of perfumes and “stick to scents that will make you smell like a baby wh**e.”

She then proceeds to tell the women that “when you go out dancing, make sure to rub your butt on every strange man standing nearby. As you do this, touch yourself while chewing gum and sucking your finger simultaneously. Once again, if you’re wearing those feminine h**ker heels, the stranger you’re rubbing up against will marry you within weeks.”

And after various other meaningless paragraphs, she concludes by saying:  “The awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you are stupid.”

No, you don’t get to write such an article and then call it sarcasm to escape the anger of those who don’t “understand” it. And for the record, your sarcasm is not advanced. It’s way out of place. How about you dress the way you want and leave your nose out of other people’s business or cleavage for that matter? This is a free country. The only reason the article writer is up in a fit is because of the stereotypes that such women generate towards other Lebanese women. But the fact is that if this writer had been in any other country, she wouldn’t have cared. And the only reason she cares is because repressed arabs look at Lebanon as a sex paradise.

Should we care about what they think? No. Should we really be up in a fit about the way some of our women dress? No. Is it your business to begin with? Absolutely not.

If there’s anything that needs to change in this country is narrow-minded people who can’t but gossip “sarcastically” in order to prove a point. Calling people names is not the way you change things. You need to take a look at the file names for the attachments on the article: Dominique Hourani is called a Lebanese prostitute and Marwa is called a Lebanese whore. Is that sarcastic too?

Smeds Knefe and Pizza ads: Sex, Breasts & Food?

The new ads by Smeds for their mozarella cheese are nothing but sexually inferring. Without them telling you what they’re advertizing, you’d think Antoinette Akiki has a new sex-ed show, à la Lezem Ta3ref, on YouTube.

I’m not a marketing expert. But if someone intends to sell some food item, is associating it with talk about breasts and a man bringing his wife to orgasm a decent strategy?

In other words: food and vulgar ads, do they go hand in hand (no pun intended) or is it a grave misstep here?

I’ll leave the answer to the pros.

To me, I think sex sells. But not cheese.

Here are the ads:

A New “Fatwa”: Women Can Masturbate!

Insane religious zealots – the gift that keeps giving and giving. Hilarious stuff that is. My friend Agnès shared this with me yesterday:

All the way from Morocco, sheikh Abdel Bary Al Zamzami has allowed women to masturbate using carrots, bottles & sexual objects (dildos). The sheikh in question is also premissive towards nechrophilia.

The reasoning behind his latest declaration? Apparently scientists back in the days allowed women who were late for marriage to masturbate using carrots and bottles to satisfy their need without damaging their honor, making their sexual need akin to hunger.

Crazy people are crazy. Al Zamzami is the head of the Moroccan committee for the study of religious text. Who put him in charge, I have no clue.

But yes, women should be overly happy that they can now shove a carrot up their vagina. That should keep their “honor” intact.

Beirut Hotel – Movie Review

Beirut Hotel Movie Poster
I finally watched Danielle Arbid’s infamous Beirut Hotel, the Lebanese movie that has spurred a huge controversy back in November due to it being banned from Lebanese theaters. The reason I took time to watch it is twofold: one because I hadn’t heard of any good responses towards it. And two because I didn’t want to waste my time on a movie whose trailer made it look cheesy and whose hype was only generated by the simple fact that everything forbidden is usually wanted.

Upon watching Beirut Hotel, I can say for myself that my initial thoughts about the movie were perfectly on point – and no, this is not a case of a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Zoha (Darine Hamze) is a sultry singer, more often than not out of tune, at one of Beirut’s bars. The purpose of her singing is not to please the ear as it is to please the eye and Zoha knows this perfectly well. She then meets an enigmatic French man named Mathieu (Charles Berling) with whom she has a late night talk, including informing him of the bar she sings at, before going back home, after a late night kiss of course.

Soon enough, Mathieu is infatuated by Zoha and starts following her around, which she finds creepy (as well as charming). So she storms into his hotel room the following day and before you know it, the anger subsides and turns into sex. But Mathieu may not be the lawyer he claims he is. And with a man wanting to exchange information about Hariri’s assassination for safe-haven in France, things will get messy. Add to that Zoha’s husband (Rodney Haddad) who can’t seem to let her go.

All of this may sound interesting. But trust me, the script is as cheesy and useless as it gets. Remember when Zoha tells Mathieu where she works? Well, when she storms into his hotel room the following day, she actually asks him how he knew where she worked – that is before they sleep together.

In fact, the Darine Hamze sex scenes in the movie are so out of place you can’t but feel they’ve been put there solely for the reason of making an uneventful movie talk-worthy, along the lines of: “There is a moment where Darine Hamze’s breasts show” – cue in thousands of Lebanese who are shocked that a Lebanese actress actually went there.

It is here that I have to commend Darine Hamze for the guts it took her to bare it all in this movie, be it through the various sex scenes or through the obvious sexual appeal she conveyed. She may be the only “good” thing about Beirut Hotel. It’s sad that what she does comes off as forced in the movie.

If Beirut Hotel had been let be – not made into a big media frenzy because of the Hariri plot line it contained, the movie would have crashed and burned at the Lebanese box office because, whether we like to admit it or not, most of us are very cautious when it comes to Lebanese movies. We only watch them when word of mouth is substantial enough to convince us to spend the ticket money on them. Word of mouth would have failed Beirut Hotel, as it should. The movie which takes Beirut’s name not only shows the city in a negative light, I was more than often surprised to see this is the Lebanese capitol we all cherish, coupled with a silly storyline that grasps at straws to become eventful.

2/10