Author Archives: eliefares

Disgusting Lebanese Basketball

I used to follow Lebanese basketball as much as I can. I supported Sagesse. Not because of the party they are apparently affiliated with but because I grew up in a house that supported them because it had alumnus from that school and – for a while – they were the best.

However, I believe I’m not the only one who finds Lebanese sports in general and basketball in particular, seeing as it’s the most popular Lebanese sport, to be downright disgusting lately. Even our football league is miserable – not that it was in better shape before. Check this link out.

Every single game to be held lately has to be postponed for some amount of time in order to get the fans to cool off… politically, even the games of teams many thought were irrelevant or had no political backing. Even the Lebanese president now has his own basketball applaud squad in the form of the Amchit team. And here I was thinking I was way behind the times in not knowing Champville was FPM-centric.

I’ve been so disassociated from what was happening actually that I had no idea until recently about all the major scandals that were taking place, most of which were politically coated sport affairs. Most of them revolved around my former go-to team Sagesse and a growing rivalry with Champville with some businessmen thrown in the fold. The “scandal” was all about the Lebanese Forces and the Free Patriotic Movement. Then try to tell a supporter of either parties who’s absolutely elated by what went down that this isn’t how things should go: “Man, l ouwet reb7et...” or “Shou baddna, 3al tayyar ma bi3alle2.”

Every single team playing today has a go-to political affiliation. They are not playing the game, they’re playing for their politician. If they win, they bring his reputation pride. If they lose, it’s his reputation that’s on the line. But fear not, the “supporters” will wreck havoc and make sure no one takes their political affiliation lightly.

But Lebanon’s basketball league is but an absolutely minute representation of the even more disgusting state of Lebanese politics today: the election law “talks” leading to nowhere, the visits between smiling foes when you know they are bottling in every single curse word known to man, the ultra tense mood regarding everything there is. We’re not getting anywhere. Deadlines are looming. And here we are applauding.

The tension on the courts is the tension on the streets. The words going across fields are the words we hear on TV. The slogans shouted are a regurgitation of the ones our politicians franchise.

Talk about sportsmanship. At least someone mathematically wins in basketball. Lebanese politics, on the other hand, is all in the eye of the beholder supporter.

Lebanon To Get Addresses Soon?

How do you tell the delivery person where you live in order for them to bring you precious food? Well, most conversations go a little like this:

– “Do you know [insert landmark]?”
– “Yes.”
– “Okay, don’t take the street next to it. Keep going deghre. Skip the street after that one and take the one after. Still with me?”
– “Barely.”
– “Okay go into that street. Find a shop called [insert name]. Once you find it, do a 95 degree pirouette to locate my building’s entrance. I’m the [insert floor number].”

Delivery people, the maze of Lebanon’s “addresses” is soon to be over.

Minister Nicolas Sehnaoui announced on twitter that all of Lebanon will have addresses soon.

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Long gone will be the days where local landmarks point you to where you are and long gone will be the days where you fill your official papers with generic addresses just because you can’t skip that step. And perhaps setting up Lebanese iTunes Store accounts will be less complicated?

Of course, theoretically. I’m not sure how feasible the entire process might be or how tedious. Aren’t we far gone as a country for that? But still, I’ll take it as some potential for good news.

Suck it, telecarte booth. I will no longer be using you.

Update: according to BlogBaladi, a Canadian company was hired to do a similar job in 2002 and they managed to name streets and buildings (link). However, I’m not entirely sure if this actually went beyond Beirut because I’ve never seen those blue street and building tags outside the city. Moreover, the entire project was definitely not advertised and marketed enough for people to be aware of it. It’s akin to having an address but not knowing what it is – not because of laziness but because of inefficiency. 

The Story Of Owning a Pet in Lebanon

The journey of a thousand miles starts with the inception of the idea… with your mother. “I’m getting a cat” was what I said. A stern look that breathed of “no” was how she replied. Message received. My dad automatically referred me back to my mother. No luck on that front. I had my work cut out for me.

Soon enough, I got the pet. My mom will cave in under the pressure, I figured. I entered the house with that white ball of fur in my arms. I had already decided to name her “Katniss.” And I probably hadn’t seen something cuter in my life. Katniss, however, was absolutely terrified. So the first thing she did when I stepped over the threshold was to go and hide beneath the sofa. No amount of food or trickery could get her out of there. It could have been that the house was brimming with people wanting to see what this creature was.

An hour or so later, once strangers and distant relatives in this little town got bored and left, Katniss decided to venture out into her new territory. She didn’t like me at that point but I was the only familiar face so she stuck around. Despite being minuscule, she managed to jump on the couch. The spot looked absolutely perfect for her. So she nested her head beneath her paw and slept.

“Don’t tell your mom,” my dad said as he watched TV and gently ran his hand over her white mane.

The following days were all about learning. I asked my friends who already had pets what kind of food and litter they bought. I had trouble potty-training her but she got the hang of it… eventually. And I found out she loves to eat and play in the garden outside my house even though she came back with little twigs stuck on her every time.

She started following me around the house wherever I went: to my room, to the bathroom, to the car. She used to look at me sadly as I pulled out of the drive to go to class and I couldn’t help but smile as I saw her growingly fat behind go back disappointingly inside when she found out she won’t be going anywhere with me.

Her first visit to the vet was strange to me but downright terrifying for her. As I held her in my arms while the vet readied the table where he was going to examine her, I could feel her getting more anxious. Once he gave her the vaccine and those deworming pills and that frontline for flees, she was downright shaking as I tried to comfort her that all will be okay.

Needless to say, her future visits to the vet were far less smooth as she started refusing to take the pills no matter what he does. “You have a feisty cat,” he said. I just nodded. There was nothing I could do. She was so feisty in fact that she had managed to hunt down a mouse, which she brought back home only to brag about in front of my mom. She wasn’t going to eat that, obviously.

The first hurdle came around when my mom was diagnosed with cancer and some people told her she can’t be around the cat. We started worrying about what we’d do with Katniss. No one we knew was equipped to take care of her. We tried to move her to my grandparents’ house but she kept coming back despite our efforts. It was a relieving moment when the oncologist told her mother to worry.

Once December rolled around and cats around the neighborhood started getting ready to get busy, it was time for Katniss to hit early menopause. So I took her to the vet again and several hours later, I got her back in her cage sleeping. Back home, she was so drowsy because of anesthesia and in obvious pain that my mom’s heart was almost torn out of her chest. She got all better a few days later and went back to her regular routines of eating, sleeping, playing and chasing away the cats off our porch.

On a Saturday night in April, as we had dinner with a few guests who gushed over a shaven-Katniss as she circled their feet, which she normally does, while they ate, Katniss decided to go outside, which was normal. Slightly past midnight, I decided to call it quits and went to bed. The following day, I found out from my little brother that Katniss hadn’t slept in. I wasn’t worried as she had done that before and our maid had seen her around the house early that morning.

The day starting passing, however, and Katniss didn’t come back. As we sat down for lunch, nothing was startling my aunt by bumping into her foot. There was nothing looking at my mom with pleading eyes for some human food. “She’s just around,” they all said. “She’ll come back in a bit.”

But Katniss didn’t. Not that Sunday. Not the following Monday. Not the Tuesday after that. Two scenarios were plausible: either someone stole her or one of the hunters around my town decided to test his chops by aiming at a cat who was obviously owned by someone, which is entirely possible given how hunters in this country think: it doesn’t matter what they shoot at as long as it’s an animal moving and they get to brag about it to their friends later on.

 

As the days passed, I realized this tiny creature that started as even tinier white ball of fur had taken up a huge place in our house. We had gotten so used to her collar’s bell ringing whenever she moved that the silence in the house felt eerie. We had gotten so used to her just being around that not stumbling by her everywhere we went made our home feel less welcoming.

“I never thought I’d love her as much,” was what my mom said as she held her food basket and called around for her name around the neighborhood, shaking the basket to draw her attention. There was a tear in her eye. “Don’t tell your little brother,” she then said. “He’ll be devastated if he knew I’m this upset.”

We were all upset. Katniss had spent slightly more than a year in our midst but we had all grown to absolutely love her, even the family members who complained about her walking around them when they ate. Now, two weeks later, I’m not hopeful that I’ll find Katniss anymore. My little cat is gone.

I don’t think I’d get another pet. This isn’t the town nor the country to own a pet and be relieved that your neighbors won’t poison it or the hunters around your town won’t be shooting it or even someone stealing it for a few quick dollars or because they don’t want to get their own.

All I have are the memories of when Katniss was mine and around, the memories of when she slept next to me in bed and looked annoyed because I changed sleeping positions and woke her up, the memories of her running after me because I was heading to the kitchen which she normally associated with eating, the memories of her chasing away the neighborhood’s cats off her turf because this was, after all, her home.

I hope it’s nice wherever you are, little one.

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MTV Cancels Joe Maalouf’s “Enta Horr”

Enta Horr Joe Maalouf MTV

Enta Horr, arguably Lebanon’s most controversial TV show, has been reportedly canceled by  MTV according to Lebanon Files (Arabic link).

Joe Maalouf, the show’s host, has been involved with many now-infamous scandals which were started on his show, the most famous of which is that revolving around a cinema theatre raid which culminated in anal tests being done on several men suspected of homosexuality. Many believe he was the cause for the raid. Lebanon’s syndicate of physicians has since outlawed such practices by its physicians.

However, it seems a growing disparity between MTV and Joe Maalouf’s opinions has led the TV station to cancel the show altogether, effectively stopping the promo for any new episodes and re-airing older ones instead. The straw that broke the camel’s back was Joe Maalouf’s opinion regarding the Dekawne night club closing, which I haven’t seen yet. For those who are interested, here’s my opinion on that matter (link).

Many who are not fans of Joe Maalouf and his show will rejoice at this news which MTV wants to keep on the down-low for the time being. But I have to ask: even if they have the legal right to do what they did, is it  correct to stop a TV show that sparks debate – regardless of what that debate might be – just because you don’t like the opinions being put forward?

It could be that MTV has grown tired of trying to set a distance for itself from what Joe Maalouf advocates. Or it could be that Joe Maalouf’s politics aren’t in sync with the Murr clan. But isn’t effectively silencing the man doing a station which was silenced for years a bigger disservice given that I’m sure his show isn’t causing them financial woes?

Regardless of what I may think about some of the show’s episodes, Enta Horr has often been a candid and scathing critic of some Lebanese realities that many of us don’t like to tackle. And even though Joe Maalouf’s approach towards some issues, especially those of homosexuality, is unacceptable, I believe the type of shows that Enta Horr represents is much needed in this country. It’s a sad day when that type of shows bites the dust.

Ironically, this has happened around World Press Freedom Day.

Homosexuals Not Allowed To Enter Lebanon?

Our minister of interior Marwan Charbel, also known as the gift that keeps on giving, issued a statement on the matter:

Marwan Charbel Homosexuality Lebanon

Picture via Facebook

The above statement hasn’t been altered. It’s what the minister said verbatim (link). “Lebanon is against gays,” he said. “The Lebanese law considers them a felony and I wonder if after France allowed same-sex marriages, we allow them to enter Lebanon?”

Beware gay people, Lebanon will enforce some new airport regulations to ban homosexuals entry to its land. Lebanon is a no-gay zone, according to Marwan Charbel that is.

The statement will resonate with all the people who approve of what the mayor of Dekwane did (link), the people who will applaud Marwan Charbel for “protecting their families,” the people who are busy putting up posters such as this around their towns:

Picture via Stop Cultural Terrorism in Lebanon's Facebook page

Picture via Stop Cultural Terrorism in Lebanon’s Facebook page

Lebanon, the country with entrenched homophobia, isn’t changing anytime soon.

PS: Mr. Charbel, your radar may have missed several hundred thousand individuals of the Lebanese population.