Category Archives: Lebanon

What Lebanese Christians Are Not Entitled To

Entitlement. The word thrown around so loosely lately it’s become the go-to term in Lebanese politics, especially when it comes to Christians and their – forgive me, our – rights.

As such, I have decided to make a list of things Lebanese Christians think are entitled to but are not:

  • We are not entitled to vote for our half of parliament all by ourselves.
  • We are not entitled to have laws that govern us and only us.
  • We are not entitled to legislate in ways that only benefit us and pretend it’s for the common good of all.
  • We are not entitled to vote for an MP solely because he Crosses himself when he “prays.”
  • We are not entitled to play victims all the time, at every single turn.
  • We are not entitled to blame the Sunnis and only the Sunnis for our predicament in the country.
  • We are not entitled to pretend as if we live in a country alone because it’s the best way for us to sleep soundly at night
  • We are not entitled to bring Jesus into the petty fights of our politicians in order to prove a point that doesn’t even exist to begin with.

    • I’ve been disappointed by the Lebanese Forces for a very long time now. But if there was a time when I felt they made a “decent” decision, it was them deciding to go for a law that’s not as dim-witted as the Orthodox Law and which might come back to bite them because many Lebanese Christians feel their sense of entitlement has been breached.

    For those who actually think that some politicians are there to protect their “rights” with such electoral laws, humor me and answer the following question: How is moving back and forth between a law that supposedly gives our vote a maximum impact (Orthodox Law) and one that gives it the least impact (Lebanon as one proportional representation district), while saying they are the only two viable options, protecting our rights exactly? How is it ANY different from the political auctioning of our votes and to which many fall victim because of the fixed delusion that our rights are only equal to voting for our kin and our kin alone?

    You know what Lebanese Christians are entitled to? We are entitled to proper representation and proper legislation. But first and foremost, we are also entitled to proper politicians who actually think of their constituents as more than numbers to form a tsunami 2.0, who actually don’t count on the one-sidedness of so many people out there to cash in points here and there and who actually don’t think of our potential in the terms of where we pray only and who actually believe our rights are not summarized by the religion of who we vote for (link).

    Judas is rolling in his grave at using his name in vain these days.

    Fadel Shaker Wants To Fight in Syria

    I find it very hard to believe this is the same man who, a few years ago, was busy churning out hits about romance and love. Looking at him now, singing about love is the furthest thing from what I’d expect.

    Fadel Shaker, currently serving as Ahmad el Assir’s right-hand, wants to fight for the honor of Muslim women in Syria. Therefore, he wants your support and money. He even has an email.

    I’d write a line about the need for jihad calls in Syria emanating out of Lebanon to be illegal. But that would defeat the purpose seeing as Hezbollah is fighting with one side while Sunni extremists are fighting with another. And this isn’t really about the message behind Fadel Shaker’s message as much as it is about the radicalization of this former pop-star who now sends greetings to Sunni Muslims and only Sunni Muslims on Twitter, insults the patriarch and bashes anyone who dares criticize his master Ahmad el Assir.

    Lebanon’s psychologists, wouldn’t he make a fine specimen for a case study?

     

    Thank you Kalim Chidiac for the tip.

    Lebanese Blogger Gets Assaulted In Beirut’s Downtown… For Taking A Picture

    Habib Batah, a professor at LAU and blogger at The Beirut Report, got physically assaulted today by a bunch of henchmen at Downtown’s soon-to-be-constructed District S… because he dared take a picture of the ancient ruin inside the property which they were busy dismantling.

    After being forced to delete the pictures off his phone, Habib tried to complain to Lebanon’s police who dismissed him with their typical “nothing to see here.” Again, we’re only paying our police so they can have Malek el Tawou2 for lunch or dinner. Protecting us or trying to keep our rights, the simplest of which is us being able to take a damn picture at a construction site of our heritage, is just too mainstream to be included under their umbrella of duties.

    You can read the full story here (link).

    In this occasion, I believe a series of thank yous are in order.

    • Thank you Solidere for your beautiful work in Downtown Beirut. It’s perfectly understandable that ancient ruins aren’t business-centric. The Khalijis sure don’t like them. 
    • Thank you Lebanon’s Ministry of Culture. Your continuous efforts in making sure there’s nothing about this country’s history that  isn’t history are much appreciated.
    • Thank you Lebanon’s Ministry of Interior. You’re just too busy not looking at those self-enforced anti-Syrian curfews and not working on elections for you to get your police to do their job.
    • Thank you Lebanon’s police. I feel safer every single day you tell me to “forget it.”
    • Thank you to every single entity in this God-forsaken country that makes me hopeful and happy and content into what I’m being offered every single freaking day.

    How much more shit are we supposed to take before someone out there decides to do their bloody job? How many more people need to be assaulted because they tried to stand up to their constitutionally-given rights? How many more of our rights are we supposed to forsake because of well-connected people everywhere? How many people need to become victims before someone out there wakes up and realizes that this – all of it – is downright unacceptable?

     

    LBC’s New TV Show: Splash!

    I get competition shows that are centered around singing or dancing. I may not be a fan or watch them but at least I can fathom their premise.

    Then comes Splash! also known as LBC is really desperate for a hit TV show à la Dancing With The Stars.

    The TV show will start this coming Sunday. It has been adopted from the UK version which ranked only #16 weekly among British TV shows. Not impressive at all. And yet Splash! is here.

    A few Lebanese celebrities will be competing against each other in diving. That’s what the show is all about. Lame? You bet. Silly? An even surer guess. What’s the point? I guess it’s still better than airing AUD’s graduation ceremony on Sunday, Roula Saad – Star Academy’s person – has been without a TV show for a while now and there will be public voting, obviously. Money, money, money!
    And there’s of course seeing Nancy Afiouny in a bikini. I sure want to see her meow, meow. If you know what I mean.

    The candidates, also known as celebrities whose days have passed and want a career reboot, include:
    – Nancy Afiouny
    – Nelly Makdessy
    – Arze Chidiac
    – Antoinette Akiki
    – Katia Keady
    – Nicole Tohme
    – Rita Hayek
    – Laurette Hnayno
    – Elie Massaad
    – Salah Tizani
    – Rodolphe Hilal
    – Naser Abou Lafy
    – Sevag Demerjian
    – Wajih Saker
    – Silvio Chiha

    Yes, I have no clue what most of those “celebrities” do and yes, there will definitely be cannonballs.

    Our TV stations are adamant about bringing growingly lamer TV shows from abroad just to create some buzz. Will you be watching Splash!?
    Somehow the thought of most of those people doing twirls before they splash everyone is getting less and less appealing by the second.

    Thank you @Joseph__Saade for the info.

    Why The “Anthony Touma”s of Lebanon Make Us Proud

    When I spent a month in France, back in August of 2012, I was somewhat surprised to find most people there had some gross misconceptions about Lebanon. I had thought that French people out of everyone would at least know slightly more than your average info about this country in the Middle East. But it was the same thing all over again: desert, camels, tents, oil, everyone is rich, etc…

    It was grating at first. Then it became amusing. There was really nothing I could do to change what those people thought of me or my country or everyone who had my passport. It’s not only the French, it’s basically everywhere else as well. And we try to pretend as if the stereotype isn’t there but kidding ourselves is all we do.

    I’ve been pondering for a while over why is it that the Lebanese candidate Anthony Touma on France’s The Voice managed to instill a sense of nationalism among us, one that doesn’t necessarily reflect the same way by the French over the French candidates on the show.

    In more general terms, because Anthony Touma isn’t a lone example, why is it that we cannot not be proud of the Anthony Toumas of Lebanon, no matter how hard we try and knowing that they may not be the absolute best at what they do? Why do we feel wronged when they get wronged? Why do we, as Lebanese, feel involved in what they do and what they accomplish fully knowing that the benefits they reap don’t reflect on us in any way?

    I am not the type of Lebanese people who gush over the Shakiras and Salma Hayeks who never set foot here and yet some people feel obliged to try and get them to identify with us.

    But when I look at Anthony Touma, Amin Maalouf and others, I see people who are like me, who lived my life, who probably went to schools similar to mine, who walked the same streets that I walk everyday and who are doing the best they could with the talent they have.

    The Anthony Toumas of Lebanon are the people who, with each word they write or each note they sing, give a better image of our country than we could ever do. And some might believe we don’t need that. But we do. We terribly do.

    Our sense of nationalism as Lebanese kicks in often because we have something to prove. We want to prove that we can do better, that we can be better. We want to prove that this small nation can give the world great gifts. We want to prove that the confines of the 10452 km2 don’t limit us. We want to prove that war and violence and absurd politics don’t bring us down. We want to prove that we can rise above the terrible hands we are dealt on daily basis. We want to prove that this small Middle Eastern country has something to give and give well.

    For many, those prospects are never self-fulfilled, which is okay. We are not all given the same chances in life. But when we look at Touma, Maalouf, Gebran, Nadine Labaki, etc… We see people who are trying to make it or have made it. And they give us hope. And those people who walk and talk and think like us make us proud.

    There will come a time, hopefully, when we no longer feel we have something to prove to the world. Perhaps our sense of nationalism towards the Anthony Toumas of Lebanon lessens when that time comes. But until then, there’s nothing wrong with feeling proud of our countrymen who represent us despite everything and represent us well.

    Or you can hate on them because feeling proud of someone because they’re Lebanese is just too non-scientific and mainstream.