No, these are not sluts.

After a horrendous piece on transsexualism in Lebanon, BeirutNightLife is at it again. This time, the article is about Lebanese girls who like to dress like “hoes.” The article’s title: La Wlooo!!!…How to Look like a Lebanese Bimbo.

After being attacked countless times for making fun of Lebanese girls who love looking like hoes, I figured ho-defenders out there are too many to be conquered by merely one loser such as myself — but I’ll keep writing about these divine creatures, who I’m so envious of, because I’m so ugly and miserable. So many of my intelligent ho-loving readers, who love me so much, accuse me of being fat, ugly, unbearable, miserable, bitter and single; they have truly exposed me for who I truly am. After weeping on my bathroom floor for weeks, I decided to emerge from my funk as an enlightened one that has come to terms with one truth: I am ugly, and prostitutes are ravishing; hence, I am jealous of them and want to look exactly like them, which is the only logical reason as to why I make fun of them.

If you’re ugly like me, you’ll need to start looking like a ho asap so you can find a gentleman who will appreciate your personality and want to marry you and have your babies one day.

1) The article’s writer is basically calling every Lebanese girl that shows cleavage a prostitute. There’s no other way around this. And if this wasn’t her intention, then her phrasing was so bad that it can only be interpreted as such.

2) I don’t really care about what people told the article’s writer regarding her previous chef-d’oeuvre. I have been attacked multiple times on various blog posts here and you don’t see me coming off as bitter about it, nor do I go on writing sarcastic pieces about how they are in the wrong and I am in the right. Why? Because when you’re discussing such a topic, you don’t really get the right to be the scorned woman when you’re calling every single woman out there who doesn’t dress like you a slut and those who like such women “ho-lovers.”

3) Defending a woman’s right to dress the way she wants does not make one a ho-lover. It doesn’t make the woman a hoe. In fact, using the words hoe, ho-loving and bimbo is an insult. I’m writing this from class today. The girl sitting in front of me is sporting a mini-skirt. Do I naturally assume she’s a slut and because I like what she’s wearing, I’m a ho-lover? So much wrong.

Let’s proceed with the amazingly detailed and researched article.

The writer wants Lebanese women who are haters of the “hoes” to admit the truth that they are really jealous and that their aim in life should switch from becoming lawyers and doctors and dress up like sluts just to get a man of quality. “Real beauty is looking like a $2 h**ker,” she says.

Furthermore, the writer then gives a guideline for women to dress like hoes: show everything you can, even your private parts, while standing on hooker heels. She also gives them a dress code for daytime where they need to put on copious amounts of perfumes and “stick to scents that will make you smell like a baby wh**e.”

She then proceeds to tell the women that “when you go out dancing, make sure to rub your butt on every strange man standing nearby. As you do this, touch yourself while chewing gum and sucking your finger simultaneously. Once again, if you’re wearing those feminine h**ker heels, the stranger you’re rubbing up against will marry you within weeks.”

And after various other meaningless paragraphs, she concludes by saying:  “The awkward moment when your sarcasm is so advanced that people actually think you are stupid.”

No, you don’t get to write such an article and then call it sarcasm to escape the anger of those who don’t “understand” it. And for the record, your sarcasm is not advanced. It’s way out of place. How about you dress the way you want and leave your nose out of other people’s business or cleavage for that matter? This is a free country. The only reason the article writer is up in a fit is because of the stereotypes that such women generate towards other Lebanese women. But the fact is that if this writer had been in any other country, she wouldn’t have cared. And the only reason she cares is because repressed arabs look at Lebanon as a sex paradise.

Should we care about what they think? No. Should we really be up in a fit about the way some of our women dress? No. Is it your business to begin with? Absolutely not.

If there’s anything that needs to change in this country is narrow-minded people who can’t but gossip “sarcastically” in order to prove a point. Calling people names is not the way you change things. You need to take a look at the file names for the attachments on the article: Dominique Hourani is called a Lebanese prostitute and Marwa is called a Lebanese whore. Is that sarcastic too?