Tag Archives: parliament

3askar 3a Min?

The above picture is not in Syria. It is not in Libya. It’s not in Egypt. It’s not in Bahrain. It’s in our own backyard. Or front yard in this case – in Downtown Beirut.

The men you see on the ground are not terrorists. They are a group of seven people that were protesting to ask parliament to pass a bill for civil personal status. The men you see on the ground were not holding guns, they were not burning tires, they were not kidnapping people.

They were holding one banner. They were acting out a wedding between people of different faiths in front of our useless parliament. You know, the parliament that’s always in deadlock and doesn’t pass any law whatsoever except when it is to give those in parliament and those in government more money. And they were beaten up by our awesomely protective security forces. One of the security forces even thought it would be cool to rape a guy with his riffle.

You know those security forces. You know them well. Their testosterone kicks in when students protest for a history book (click here) or when students chant at some university or when a couple decides to kiss in public.

Yes, we sure have macho security forces, staying up every night for our safety. Making Lebanon feel more secure with each passing moment one of them staying awake, fighting all those criminals…. Oh wait.

No, those same security forces cower away when brainless people decide to cut off roads with burning tires. They stand there and threaten you if you take pictures of the protestors while they chat them up and smoke cigarettes together. BFFs I tell you!

Those same security forces are the ones who want you to put them on a pedestal, to honor them, to pay them off – literally – whenever you want to do something. And they want you to do so happily.

Those same security forces are the ones who want you to think you are protected and yet they advise you not to walk around certain areas after certain hours. They also advise you not to walk around certain areas at all.

Those same security forces are the ones who shrug their shoulders whenever they receive news of someone getting kidnapped and continue doing what they do best: eating their Malek l Tawou2 sandwiches.

This is not a country. This is an anarchy. And it’s hopeless. And these convictions are reinforced daily.

3askar 3a min? 3a yalli ma fi bidahro 7ada kbir.

A Facebook Discussion With a Lebanese MP

I have Samer Saade, the Maronite MP of Tripoli (he’s from Chabtine in Batroun originally), as a friend on Facebook. Yesterday afternoon, he posted a link (click here) to amendments that he, along with MP Nadim Gemayel, proposed to the non-smoking law.

MP Saade posts many links to things he’s doing. I usually read them and, like many other Facebook users, go on without commenting or “liking” the links. This time, however, I wanted to voice in my opinion. I figured the worst case scenario would be he’d read it and ignore it, like many other Lebanese MPs.

But MP Saade actually replied. This is the conversation that happened (click here for a Facebook link):

 

 

 

 

The problem with discussing the law in parliament, as I made clear to MP Saade, is that it won’t be a real discussion whereby the voice of those who want the law in its current form is heard. The amendments will pass. And it will be as if we had no law in the first place, which is a shame since I really like smoke free Lebanon.

How awesome is it to go clubbing and not get out of the night club with your underwear smelling like an ashtray? And who thought that was possible here?

Either way, more MPs should do what MP Saade does and that is communicate with their voters. I remember some newspaper writing about how he replies to the birthday wishes he gets on Facebook. It may not be much but I know for a fact that he’s also active on the ground – at least in Batroun.

In some countries, the voters in any district can call their representative to let him/her know where they stand regarding a certain bill or amendment or law. Of course, we’re nowhere near that level in Lebanon. Our MPs are always put on a pedestal. But I, for one, at least feel better that one of the people who will discuss the law knows that there is someone who’s against those amendments.

Of course, the conversation ended as only an MP can end it: with the idea that everyone should be heard. We all know that is far from being the case but some things are better left unsaid. At least to an MP.

Now the question is: how will the many, many others who share my opinion regarding their amendments get their voice across?

For reference, you can read what I wrote about the smoking ban here and here.

The Reforms in Egypt: Farewell Intercourse Law

Instead of working towards limiting poverty, enhancing literacy and moving towards a more democratic state, some of the men of Egypt’s new Islamist-led parliament are busy securing the well-being and happiness of their genitals. No, I’m not kidding.

Even the articles discrediting this as a rumor had to admit that some MPs discussed the proposals.

An Egyptian MP was seen talking about a proposal for something called farewell intercourse. What is that you ask? Well, if you have a sensitive stomach, I advise you to stop reading now. If not, then proceed.

Farewell intercourse allows a man to have sex with his deceased wife, six hours after her death.

The whole idea for this farewell intercourse started with Moroccan cleric Zamzami Abdul Bari who got to the conclusion that is should be allowed. He also figured that women should be allowed to use water bottles, cucumbers and other types of tools in order to seek sexual gratification. No, I’m not kidding as well. He made it into a fatwa.

The story doesn’t end here.

On top of that law, there’s another ratification that might be proposed by the Salafists, which is to let Egyptian men marry 14 year old girls. You know, because their country isn’t already overly populated and overly impoverished and overly illiterate.

Even if this whole thing turns out to be a rumor, which I pray to God it is, you cannot but wonder how such a thing got a hold and stuck with people. It’s a mere reflection of what people think the Egyptian parliament is capable of doing, which is really sad. And if one of those two proposals passes into law (the second one being more probable than the first one, obviously), how will the women of Egypt react?

Odds are there’s not much they can do.

Alain Aoun & Ahmad Fatfat: When Lebanese MPs Go Wild In Session

As our honorable MPs exchanged accusations of corruption, treason and theft, none stood out as much as FPM’s Alain Aoun and FM’s Ahmad Fatfat.

Alain Aoun to Ahmad Fatfat: Enta fejer!

Fatfat to Aoun: Ma 7ada m3allem l fjour gheir m3allmak!

Here’s a proposition that needs to be included in the upcoming electoral law:

– Any candidate needs to have gone through twenty four rounds of anger management courses until the following accusations do not get him/her to explode: thief, Israel-traitor, corrupt, silly, useless, etc.

Who wants to bet that we will see both Alain Aoun and Ahmad Fatfat in 2013’s parliament?

Until then, fi a7la men fjour l nouwweb? Tfeh.

When Lebanese MPs Fall Asleep in Parliamentary Sessions

The following picture was apparently from a previous parliamentary session in 2006 by Al Liwaa newspaper. They are saying he was picking up something from the floor. I guess take this picture the way your logic tells you. 

We made fun of the Egyptian salafis for doing it. Now it’s our turn. MP Baqradonian (sp?) was found fast asleep during the country’s latest parliamentary sessions regarding the government.

Were they this boring? I wouldn’t really know. Somehow the idea of watching half a parliament bicker away and not really change anything isn’t at the top of my TV-priority list.

And by the looks of it, it’s not even on Baqradonian’s. Those eyeglasses must be very uncomfortable and the masb7a was not entertaining enough, apparently. Sleep tight, mr. MP. I’m fairly certain you’ll be back in 2013, with a pillow this time.

Dreaming of a better country, I hope