A news report just published is saying that more than 15,000 Syrian army men are heading towards the Northern Lebanese borders for a military attack to secure the border. The report also says that the Syrian army might venture deep into Lebanese land and reach Tripoli to completely annihilate the support of the Syrian Free Army in North Lebanon.

I’m taking this with a grain of salt because it sounds too far-fetched, not to mention that the source of the news is Al Diyar. Why would Bashar el Assad risk 15,000 men away from battlegrounds where they’re probably much more needed?

But I’m not a military strategist nor do I want to be. So assuming that there’s some truth to this and that the Syrian Army might be planning something eventually along the Lebanese border, let me ask our government a few questions:

1. Have you made sure that the Syrian Army is not moving in droves towards our Northern border?
2. If the Syrian army is moving in droves towards our border, have you called your favorite person in Damascus to ask them why?
3. Have you called up upon our army to move towards Akkar in order to retaliate to every single missile and shot fired by people who want to violate our land? Or is it only violation and a cause of panic and mayhem when our Southern neighbors do it?
4. In case the Syrian Army decides to go as far as Tripoli, do we have a plan of action or will we just stand by the sidelines and watch as they burn our country again?
5. PM Mikati, how was your pilgrimage to Mecca? Rewarding, I hope.

Alas, the answers to all of those questions are already known. Long live a country whose borders are as open as the legs of a prostitute.