Tag Archives: Beirut

The Maturity of Lebanon’s Educated Youth

Students from party X at some university in this country were offering Christmas candy. They run across students from party Y who refuse to take their candy.

Therefore, a student from party X has a shouting row with another student from party Y. They start fighting. Their buddies join in. Soon enough, a bunch of students from party Z see the fight and join in with their political allies Y. They can’t leave 3dam l ra2be (their backbone) alone like that.

That’s one version of the story. Other versions exist. All versions don’t matter. You can substitute X, Y and Z to whichever current Lebanese political party that gives you peace of mind.

The result is several bloodied students who, after having the bejeezus beaten out of them, are posing for pictures with their favorite political sign while they sit on a gurney in the back of an ambulance. Their pictures are then shared by other educated students who support their political movement. Exhibit A:

Taratattata to the hospital! Woohoo!

Taratattata to the hospital! Woohoo

Sadly, at the time of writing this, I didn’t have pictures from students from other political parties.

The previous picture held the caption “till martyrdom” by the other student that shared it. It seems martyrdom these days has become about fighting for Christmas candy rights.

The following day, students from those same parties but at an entirely different campus found themselves in an even worse fight. The details are irrelevant. People will believe what they want to believe. However, this is what’s becoming more and more certain:

This educated youth that our fathers and forefathers (and mothers) are counting on to help better the crappy state of our country is absolutely hopeless. Be it from those who are starting the fights over absolutely meaningless things when they’re supposed to be attending classes to those who are proud and sharing these people’s pictures on Facebook with all kinds of praise.

If the educated youth of Lebanon which should give the country hope are as brain-dead as the current ruling class and if these educated youth are the ones behaving like this, then what have they left to those who are less educated? You know, those people we love to hate because they’re poor and illiterate and easily driven by politicians?

What’s worse is that these people who made a fool out of themselves and out of the political parties they represent will not be reprimanded. On the contrary, their corresponding political leader will congratulate them for standing up to injustice. For standing up to what’s right. For believing in their party’s principles. For defending their brethren’s honor. For not letting those despicable others leave without broken noses. For being mature enough to know right from wrong. For taking a stance… all for some Christmas candy-coated political crap, in the time of forgiveness and all that jazz.

‘Tis the season not to turn your back and leave confrontations but to offer people a bloody eye while you ditch your course to spread Christmas glee. Merry Christmas!

 

Lebanon’s New Driving Law

Behold! Lebanon has a new driving law – and it stands at a whopping 197 pages! (check it here). Who knew our driving regulations were that developed?

I personally didn’t bother reading it because 1) I have no idea how it differs from the previous version and 2) no one will abide by it – not even our security forces who are supposed to enforce it. But I’ve linked it just because some of you are short on fun things to do.

When it comes to driving in this country, what’s on paper has nothing to do with what’s actually on our roads. When will our politicians realize that their attempts at regulating that are futile at best?

Driving in Lebanon will forever be as follows:

  • – You will use your left hand as indicator at all times. If you have a passenger with you in the car, his right hand will serve as your right indicator. This is non-disputable.
  • – There are no lanes. If the axis of your car isn’t alined with those dashed lines, you’re not doing it right.
  • – There are no maximum speed limits. You just keep going and going and going as long as traffic permits. If by some random chance you stumble on someone going at the speed limit, you will use your high beams to temporarily blind them.
  • – There are no minimum speed limits. You are allowed to text and whatsapp and tweet and update your Facebook status as you drive slower than a turtle on the left lane. No one is allowed to be annoyed by this.
  • – Red lights are for decorative purposes only. If you see someone waiting for it to go green, you will honk their ears off. It’s only appropriate – your time is golden and they’re wasting it.
  • – That pedestrian light is simply there to entertain you with its constant glowing. Green means go and red means go. Pedestrian gets squashed? Who cares.
  • – The pedestrian light is also there to entertain pedestrians. Whether it’s red or light holds no bearing on whether they should cross or not. The rule is as follows: look left. Look right. Read, set, go!
  • – Nothing comes between you and your favorite snack place. If it means triple parking in the middle of the road then so be it. You will park wherever you please, whenever you please. Unless there’s a politician passing by. Or the entire street is taken by valet parking. If someone dares to take your parking spot, bloodshed will be permitted. Refer to your favorite local militia for assistance.
  • – Your car being unsuitable for driving is no problem whatsoever. A renault 12 without doors, without a roof, without headlights and with an engine that almost dies every few minutes is the standard. If your car is better than that, it’ll pass.
  • – Think of road signs as year-long Christmas decorations. Some of them are ugly. Others are more creative. But they are all useless. Example: A one way street sign means this particular street is always two-ways. Always. The imbecile who put it there was not thinking straight.
  • – If by some random chance some policeman decides to hand you a $50 ticket, you will grab your $1000-worth smartphone and call your favorite politician or that policeman’s superior then hand the phone over. Once the policeman cowers away in terror and rips your ticket in tiny little pieces, you will leave the scene of the crime with your dignity intact.

And that’s how you do it. That new law can shove it.

Ziad el Rahbani Concert in Lebanon Next Week

For Ziad el Rahbani lovers, he’ll be holding a concert next week on December 20th and 21st. The event was just announced.

Ziad el Rahbani Concert Lebanon

Nothing was announced regarding where “les artistes” fit into the whole equation. Ticket prices are $40, $60 and $90. They include an open buffet and 2 drinks. (Thanks to @_Evention for the tip).  Tickets will be sold at Al-Akhbar, Boueiry Press in Kaslik and Maarouf Saad Cultural Center in Saida starting Monday.

Cue people freaking out in 3..2…

My favorite Ziad el Rahbani song is probably “Bala Wala Shi.” He has also written my favorite Fairuz song “Kifak Enta.” Yes, I may not be a fan but I am not completely ignorant.

 

Zaitunay Bay is NOT Closing Down

After posting news that Zaitunay Bay might be closing down because the shops and restaurants in it can’t pay their rent anymore, I was tweeted by Zaitunay Bay’s account to let me know the news is entirely false.

Moreover, it seems that Solidere is not allowed to make such statements as it’s not the owning company of Zaitunay Bay. The company in question is BWD, Beirut Waterfront Development.

Here are the tweets in question:

Zaitunay Bay Closing - 1

Zaitunay Bay Closing - 2However, I believe that the closing news may not be coming out of nowhere. As they say, there’s no smoke without fire. So perhaps Zaitunay Bay should really anticipate repercussions from the dismal state of the economy and lower the rent on its tenants, at least until these tough times blow through. Making less money transiently is better than not making money at all.

 

 

 

Beirut’s Zaitunay Bay Closing Down?

LebanonFiles is reporting (here) that Solidere is actively and seriously considering closing down Lebanon’s new “it” project Zaitunay Bay, which has been discussed in the New York Times earlier this year.

The reason for Zaitunay Bay potentially closing is the same reason Fuddruckers and Buddha Bar have closed down while Movenpick got offered up for sale: the terrible state of business.

The shops and restaurants in Zaitunay bay are witnessing such a big fiscal drought that they can’t pay their rent, which is about $500,000 per year for their property. Looks like such a well-visited location hasn’t been resilient to the economic woes of the country.

Meanwhile, as all major business in the country close down or consider closing down, our politicians are either making propaganda visits to Gaza, still on a “forced vacation” abroad, threatening everyone whenever they feel threatened (which is basically every waking moment of every day) or getting people to freak out about a potential “ekhwen rule” in Syria.

The 2013 elections are in a few months and the rhetoric that will be used in the coming days and weeks won’t be that of an economic plan to save the country’s miserable state but that of mentally terrorizing people into voting for one side over the other, whatever that side is.

Despite not being the biggest fan of Zaitunay Bay, I really hope the place pulls through these though times. Lebanon doesn’t need such a thing right now.